Having ADHD means I spend my life trying to figure out what is important.
No, I know the mortgage has to be paid. I know an education is a great help. I know that I do not want to lose my job.
Those things are important, I’m fully aware of that.
Nope, I’m talking about receipts.
Well, receipts are a great example. I’ll go out to run errands and I’ll come home with a pocketful of receipts from the groceries and from picking up that widget to fix the doodad in the kitchen and from grabbing a can of stain for the patio furniture and also a cup of coffee on the go and maybe a new pen … oh, and a computer.
And all these receipts will be in my hand when I empty my pockets at night. (Yeah, I somehow have that habit.)
And I’ll look at them and think, I know some of these are important, and some are not … but I don’t really have the energy or the time to sit and stare at them until they tell me which category they belong in.
… They go into the pile with the other non-communicative receipts on my dresser.
Damned things, they should speak up! You’d think that places would color code them or something, right?
There are times when I know intuitively that a receipt is important. That’s a special moment. I feel good about myself for recognizing that and I have a special way of dealing with those receipts.
I put them in my wallet … where I keep them for five or more years until they have faded beyond legibility, and then I throw them out because, obviously they weren’t that important because if they were my life would have ended in a shambles by now, right?
Receipts are funny
These receipts seem to be some sort of formal acknowledgement that I spent money on something, as if having the thing wasn’t proof enough.
And money, like time, once spent is irrelevant to an ADHDer.
I mean, sure, I had some money. But now it’s gone. I held on to it for a long time, but then there was a thing I could buy and when I looked at the thing I couldn’t be sure that I wouldn’t really, really, REALLY need it at some point and what if I did and I had passed up this opportunity to buy it so I’d better just do that, right?
They’re funny things, confusing things, extra things that you get when you buy something, and they keep the top of my dresser warm.
And they’re even spelled funny, don’t even get me started on silent “P” jokes.
And they’re not like T-shirts, not useful like that at all.
Though in truth … I have way too many of those too.