ADHD is an insidious collection of symptoms that, added up are then subtracted from the sum of the quality of our lives.
Our ease of forgetfulness, our penchant for distraction, our inability to manage time, all these things continue to the detriment of our well being.
And there is no cure, there likely never will be.
Like diabetes, it is manageable to some extent, but it ain’t going away.
That’s not the worst part of it.
ADHD can be the thing that makes us take chances and risks that do us no favors. We end up in the emergency room more often than the “control group” do.
We end up with more unwanted pregnancies, more STDs, more relationships that shouldn’t have been, because we take risks to fullfil our needs for instant gratification.
Even if we manage to identify a risk in our life that we know is important to avoid, and even if we manage to avoid it through some super human force of will power, we are left susceptible to other risks and likely succumb.
But this still isn’t the worst part of ADHD.
We find ourselves in situations where we were paying attention to things that we would normally miss, only to discover that we’ve missed things we would normally have been distracted by that would have given us information or clues about how to proceed, because we were “being good” and “concentrating.”
Yet more often we are being us and missing the things that we should be doing because we got distracted by things that did indeed provide info and clues, but also led us in the wrong direction.
Yet this still is nothing more than day to day life for us.
Having ADHD means…
We are the ones who struggle with forms. We are the ones who need room to improvise in order to do the job to the best of our ability.
We are the ones who think outside the box but are called out for that behavior if it doesn’t produce amazing results. And if it does produce amazing results, we’re still the ones who didn’t do so well last time out and likely won’t next time we’re up for an assignment and so it’s considered luck and we don’t get the credit that we may well deserve.
We’re the ones who, when allowed to work in the way that best suits us can often be productive, so long as we don’t have to constantly fight to be allowed to work that way. But still, this is not the worst part of ADHD.
The worst part is …
We live with the belief that we are somehow incapable, somehow not as good, somehow less than those who take the time to point out our differences in a judgemental way.
It’s not true. We are not less.
Most of us are working hard to be all we can be and we’re working against pressures that others do not have to contend with.
We are not less, but the worst part is that deep down inside … we believe we are.