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I want that back!

lost not found ....
… and never coming back!

Do you have any idea how many things I’ve lost in my life?

Do you know how many things have just gone missing?

Some things aren’t important, but losing them is annoying. Some things are important, and losing those things is painful.

And yes, I have examples

Today I’m looking for my Forstner drill bits. They drill round holes, perfect round holes, but they’re not bores, they do not draw themselves through the material, they require pressure.

They’re also not speed bits or spade bits, both of which also drill holes without drawing themselves through the material, because they make a mess. They’re job is to quickly get through a piece of material in order to pass something through that, a wire, a screw, whatever.

The cost

And Forstners are expensive. And mine are a set. They are held together in a case. And they are now missing. And I can’t blame anyone but myself because even if they were stolen, they were stolen from wherever I left them which was not with any of my other tools.

They’re not the only thing I’ve ever lost, but they are the thing I need right now.

Not the only thing?

I lost the cross my grandmother gave me when I was a youngster. It was gold, had a seed pearl in the center of it. I wore it for years, and then I put it in my shoe when I went swimming at a pond one day and the next day all I remembered was that I never took it out of my shoe, I just threw my shoes into the box of my pickup and drove away barefoot.

I never saw it again, I looked. I looked everywhere I could think of.

Gone.

But not forgotten …

That was forty years ago, I still feel guilty.

I’ve lost my keys and I’ve lost money. I’ve lost clothing and hats and mitts and half a pair of shoes that I swear were the most comfortable shoes I ever owned, though in fairness I only wore them five times or so before I lost the right one.

Lost

So many things are just gone, never to be seen again. And they all have one thing in common.

Though some of them were important, and some were special, and some were just things that I replaced when I needed to, every one of those lost things shares this one thing that upsets me greatly.

I’ve spent hours of my life looking for them. Hours? No, weeks, months, probably a decade of my life has been spent searching for stuff I’ve misplaced or out right lost. Sometimes I find the thing I’m looking for. I’m fairly certain my Forstners will show up.

But

I want that decade back.

Time is not something I have an unlimited quantity of.

In fact, while being the thing I understand the least, it is also the thing I value the most.

And I want that back. Dammit!

I want that back!


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2019). I want that back!. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 15, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2019/06/i-want-that-back/

 

Last updated: 18 Jun 2019
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.