This is not a practice run. This is all we get.
I will not get a do over of this day. I will not get to try this week again.
There is no reset button. There is no lives left counter. There is no option to stick another coin in the slot and begin again.
This is life. And life is hard. And life with ADHD is harder still.
There is this … mistakes have a purpose.
Mistakes are how we learn. And those of us making mistakes are the ones trying to get it right.
If you’re not making mistakes, then you are either perfect, or not trying.
And I know
ADHD or not, neuro-typical or not, you are not perfect.
So you’d better be making mistakes.
And hopefully …
Hopefully you’re learning from those mistakes. Hopefully you’re not making the same mistake over and over.
I mean, sometimes you have to repeat a mistake to figure out how it was the wrong thing. And sometimes you get to learn more than just how it was wrong, sometimes you can clearly see when it would be right to make that mistake, when that action would not be a mistake.
If we are here to learn, and if learning involves trial and error, then we need to make those mistakes and not let the making of them impede us. We need to accept them and move on.
There is a reason they call it “trial and error” and not “trial and correctness.”
There is a reason we have been given the skills of observation and deduction.
Wait. ADHD isn’t a skill. ADHD is a lot of things, but not a skill.
ADHD is distraction and inattention, it’s forgetfulness and procrastination.
These things are not conducive to learning.
And once again, BUT …
ADHD is also impulsivity and a need for instant gratification.
ADHD is the reason we often make the mistakes that help us learn. ADHD is what has given us the experiences that allow us to think outside the box the neuro-typicals always seem to think is there.
So, our problem?
Our problem is that we need to use our impulsive behavior in a controlled way, and rely on what we’ve already learned.
Our job is to be confident in our actions and decisions, and when they turn out to have been an error, to spend exactly no time worrying about that error and to immediately move on to the next error we need to make in order to solve the current situation.
Not a rehearsal?
Nope, it isn’t.
But it’s also not a show.
This is life in the learning lane, and we’re here not to be perfect, we’re here to win.
And we have some pretty good tools to work with.