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The Child In Me …

adult sees child
Namaste!

… Sees the child in you.

Wait, no. I wasn’t calling you a child.

I was talking about how I get along well with children.

Well, maybe I was calling you a child.

Let’s explore this …

I get along well with children because, although I spent my childhood wanting desperately to be an adult, it was the best part of my life.

And I remember it well enough to know that children don’t like to feel like you think you’re better than they are.

Sound familiar?

If you have ADHD, you have that same thing. The Neuro-Typicals (NTs) can sometimes make you feel like they think you’re not up to their standard. Mostly they do this by trying to convince you that all you need to do is stop being ADHD and you’ll no longer be ADHD.

And we know that’s not true.

But we know that they can’t quite grasp that they could be wrong.

ADHD is …

ADHD is a developmental thing, our frontal lobe doesn’t develop the way it does in NTs.

And in some ways that’s a good thing.

But the point is, the lack of full development makes us closer to children than other people are. Closer in development, and closer in understanding them.

Thus

I’m fully aware that dictating, harping, demanding, preaching and judging will not help any child progress or grow, any more than those things would help us.

In fact, those things will do more harm than good in any circumstance.

And we’re the ones with a problem?

I know, right?

So how do I get along with children? I give them what I want. Respect and equality when I’m talking to them.

Sure they’re life experiences aren’t as extensive as mine. And it’s true that they haven’t had the opportunity to learn as much as I have.

But they will if they’re encouraged. And someday they’ll be our peers and they’ll remember who treated them as people and who treated them as deficient.

What do I like?

I like to be challenged. I like to be left to accomplish things that might be just beyond my grasp with the tools I have at hand.

And when I need help and can ask for it from someone who isn’t disrespecting me, I feel like I’m succeeding.

And when I manage to figure things out on my own and prove my worth, then I feel valuable.

And kids?

Think about it. That positive kind of experience is exactly what helps them grow and learn and become adults … with or without ADHD.

The Child In Me …


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2019). The Child In Me …. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 14, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2019/04/the-child-in-me/

 

Last updated: 12 Apr 2019
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.