A doctor friend of mine mentioned recently that the thing he remembers most about the DSM definition of ADHD is the part that states the person with this disorder may run around in a hyper active state as if “driven by a motor.”
He remembered that phrase specifically, and laughed when I asked if he’d noticed anyone in our group who was like that. I did not ask him to identify anyone specifically.
I’m not really feeling the “driven by a motor” thing these days, but I admit that my interpretation of that might not be the same as other’s. I may perceive myself to be calm and cool, when in reality others see me as on the go.
I know …
I’m well aware that when I sit down at my computer to work it looks like I’m not very active, and in truth I’m not very physically active. I have to remind myself to get up and move around regularly, and that doesn’t always work.
But I am active in other ways. I will set about writing a blog post, like this one for instance, and find myself browsing Facebook or Amazon or some click bait site or possibly the Onion.
And I’ll try to recall how I got there and on the rare occaision when I can follow my breadcrumbs back to my editor, it always seems like it was all quite innocent and reasonable … until it wasn’t.
Well, you know, I’ll want a word that means something like another word that I don’t want to use so I’ll select the dictionary tab on my browser and locate the word I wanted or at least one I’m happy with and then I’ll flip to the Facebook tab to see if I have any messages and Facebook will remind me that I was looking at something on Amazon or they will have a post that is pointing out the sheer inappropriateness of the current actions of the Liberally Conservative party that is or isn’t actually in power just now and I’ll have to comment and then I’ll need to see what the person who replied to me posts for cat memes and those always need to be shared and liked and …
I got a message from my spouse there and then I saw an article on ADHD diagnosis and how it makes people feel and … well, I wandered off.
To you it might have seemed, had you been listening to me talk on the phone and not reading these words, that I had checked out of the conversation, like I wasn’t really doing anything.
But I assure you, there is no time when I am not doing anything, unless it is when I’m asleep.
I always have to be doing something, even if it looks like I’m doing nothing.
Even if my body isn’t active, trust me, my mind is.
And remember, there’s a difference between active and productive.
I’m always active, I’m often productive … well, sometimes.