Last night I was out for dinner. And I can’t leave my ADHD at home, it comes with me where ever I go.
It’s true, there are times when it can seem to be subdued. I’ve met people, sometimes repeatedly, and talked with them at length, and they haven’t been aware of my ADHD until they were told.
But I’ve also met people, repeatedly, and eventually confessed my condition only to be smiled at and told, “Oh Kelly, that’s been obvious from the beginning.
It’s more likely to show in a social setting than in a business one, but it will still show in a business setting enough that I have had clients over the years who have recognized it.
Last night, we went out with another couple, we were celebrating a small success that was effected by myself and our two guests.
And one of them also has ADHD.
He and I together are like two very similar, incendiary, explosive entities. Our minds are fast, and what one of us misses the other one often hits when it comes to inventorying all the possible connections in our conversations.
Together we can carry on two or more simultaneous conversations. We are a dinner party of eight, just by ourselves.
We were not alone
Our spouses were with us. These are two of the longest suffering people I know, if they are suffering from us having ADHD that is.
I mean, I know that we aren’t easy to live with all the time, and possibly not most of the time, but for some reason these two have stuck it out with us for a good long while now.
And I have wondered about them often.
Firstly, I know that my partner often enjoys the fact that I draw a lot of attention to myself. She prefers to go unnoticed and so being near me means that I draw attention away from her.
I do that by being me, trust me, if it were about looks, she’d be surrounded by people and I’d be ignored. But I am loud, in a jovial way, bright, quick and flashy. I say the things that others shy away from and I say them without regret … without regret until I’m told about them later in the cold light of a new day.
But I’ve wondered why she sticks with me, even considering this one potential benefit?
Two possibilities …
Without being sexist, I can say with conviction that ADHD often manifests itself in a different way in women. The more common presentation of ADHD in women is the inattentive subtype that is characterized by being quiet and distant and not always present in the moment.
And if you have ADHD of that sort, and if you wish to maintain that without having to discuss it with others, then hiding in the shadow of a louder person whose ADHD subtype is hyperactive or even combined type is probably a great survival skill.
And the second possibility?
Well, I am pretty lovable …