I’ve acquired a new phone. I like it so far, though I’m not using it much yet.
Why? Ha ha, ’cause I know myself really well and I know that I need a good case on the thing to protect it.
And not just something cute. I need to protect it from falling. ‘Cause it’s going to fall.
Dichotomy number … I’ve lost count.
I have ADHD. (How many times have I said that?) And that means yet another pair of conflicting things.
I am wickedly agile and often can reach out and do the most complicated things with the flick of a wrist.
And the other side of that dichotomy is, I can trip while walking in the mall when there’s no one and nothing in my way or near me.
How does this affect my phone?
I could pull that phone out of my pocket, toss it into the air so that it flips four times perfectly and twists twice, have it land so that my index finger is right on the security scanner and it turns on instantly …
… and then it would ring and I’d lose my grip and drop it.
But it wouldn’t just fall straight to the floor. First I’d realize it was falling, and I’d make a grab for it. this would gain it another foot of elevation, but start it spinning end for end again.
In flight movie …
Then I’d try for it with my other hand. It would be quite a show, if you had your phone with you you might want to record this. My attempt with my other hand would probably catch it on the side and start it spinning like a record on a record player. No additional elevation would be imparted to the thing.
My third grab might be lucky. I am, after all, quite agile and capable of some pretty amazing feats of …
Yeah, I’ll have missed it on the third attempt as well. Now I’ll have knocked it down a foot and it will be below my plane of optimal access, so I’m bending down quickly for my final attempt to grab the slippery thing before it hits the floor.
Likely. And another redirection as well. The phone might be rotating gyroscopically by now and there’s only one thing left that might save it.
And unless you’re me or someone very much like me, you may have already given up, this last move the furthest thing from your mind.
And worse than being a last resort it has the added appearance of looking like I’ve kicked the thing if it this last attempt at salvation isn’t successful … I’ll stick my foot out in an attempt to break its fall.
And there have been times …
I’ve been known to actually catch things on my foot. I joke that I’m almost quadredextrous, that’s ambidextrous to the point of being able to use any of my four limbs for the performing of various tasks.
But there’s a better solution to all of this … yes, a protective case for the phone.
And even better … just don’t call me. I won’t likely answer anyway.
Text if you need to get in touch.