Have you ever been going too fast on a road and missed your turn because it surprised you?
I get into a groove sometimes when I’m driving. You’d be surprised how often I miss the driveway to our own cottage.
And while I do drive an eentsy bit too fast, or at least a teentsy bit over the limit, I don’t really speed like I would do if I were … well, the me I used to be as a teenager.
I remember my old 72 Fargo half ton and how it would go 97 miles an hour with the accelerator flat on the floor, 99 with a bit of a downgrade and a touch of tailwind.
That was too fast
Yep. And that’s pretty much how I drove constantly. On bad tires and with minimal maintenance, I might add.
You see, those of us with ADHD are known risk takers.
But I’ve learned to draw a line and not cross it.
It’s taken a long time
It’s pretty amazing that I managed to get here. And I’ve determined that the lines I draw are almost never about me.
I quit drinking originally because I was looking to protect my partner who later became my spouse.
I quit speeding because of her as well, she had survived a severe car accident and car travel made her very nervous. I didn’t want to add to that.
Not just speeding
We’re fast in other respects as well. And sometimes there are accidents associated with that.
I know many of you are thinking romance and unwanted pregnancy right now, and you wouldn’t be wrong.
But that’s just the tip of it.
Conclusions leapt to
When we are thinking, we often assume things that aren’t true because they give the appearance of truth.
And once we leap to a conclusion, we can often get miles past that before we manage to get stopped and turned around to figure out where we got lost.
Sounds like our driving, doesn’t it?
I’ve come a long way
I’ve gone from making choices to protect others, to making choices to protect others from losing me, to making choices to protect my happiness and well being. But I can’t say that I’m making choices for myself yet. When I am looking to protect or extend my happiness and well being, it’s usually for the joy of those around me that I act.
If it were my joy that I was seeking, I’d put that pedal down again and run all the red lights. I was built to go fast on a race track and I’m stuck on the urban streets of a busy and bustling city. And that’s as much an analogy of my life as it is a description of my driving.
So what do I do?
I do what any good race car driver would do.
I keep looking for the straightaways, places where I can let it go without fear of hurting anyone.
And I’ve learned to enjoy the control of slow speed maneuvering.
And I’ve learned to be proud of my concern for others, because just as my happiness brings them joy, so to does there happiness bring me joy.
And that’s life, sometimes in the fast lane