I know a guy who can pass for someone with ADHD. And he knows he can do that too.
Does this mean he’s too self aware to actually be a person with ADHD?
Self aware is a thing we’re not good at. Life aware is a different thing.
We’re all pretty much aware that our lives can really suck.
And yet …
I too am well aware that I can pass for someone with ADHD. I’m often aware that I am being very “ADHD” if you will.
When that happens, I mention it and I get affirmation. “Yes, you’re really being you.” I’ll hear in answer to my observation.
From whom do I hear that? From my partner. She’s okay with it most of the time. She even volunteers that opinion when I haven’t observed it.
And yeah, I am okay with that. The more I know about myself the better I am at functioning in this wild and crazy life.
And the guy?
The guy I mentioned at the beginning of this post rates a solid 35 and a “You might have ADHD” on the Jasper/Goldberg ADHD questionnaire.
But diagnosis involves negative impact and history of, and while he might have a history of, he doesn’t have enough of an negative impact on his life that he has needed to seek out help.
Ha, 93 on the Jasper/Goldberg scale and a diagnosis that seemed like it was just formalities after the psychiatrist interviewed me.
But wait. Maybe I’m still self aware. I mean, I wasn’t before, but I think I’m much better at that now. Better than I was when I had no diagnosis.
I now often know what is going on, how I’m behaving, whether I need to intervene in my own actions or if I can use my current actions and behavior to my advantage, with or without tweaking it.
It’s like …
Well, it’s like the more I know about myself and the way I am and the way I work, the better able I am to deal with life.
I am quietly assessing, most of the time, whether or not I am on the right track.
And no one knows.
If I seem to be on the ball, no one thinks anything of that. If I am acting in an unusual and unique way, but it fits or works with the situation, no one says, “Hey, he’s using his ADHD to his advantage!”
And no one gets that maybe I’m the one manipulating that. I might be behaving in an ADHD way because that’s what is needed at the time.
There’s a lot of noise
These days there is a lot of talk about being different and still being okay. Wired differently, thinking differently, acting differently, there is a call from multiple sources to find acceptance for that.
And I’m really good with that, I think it’s about time.
And I’m prepared to use that to my advantage whether anyone realizes that or not.
I’m just going to sneak into the world and do my damnedest to succeed.
Consider me stealth personified
Think of me as someone who sneaks up on what he needs to do and then does it with his own personal flare.
I am a warrior in the guise of a person with ADHD, and I’m here to win this battle called life.
I am an ADHD Ninja.