If you search through the titles of posts on this blog for ones that contain the word “time” you’ll maybe be surprised at how many there are.
Or maybe not. Maybe you’re aware of how time is such a huge part of ADHD.
In fact, if it wasn’t for time, ADHD might not exist.
It certainly would be harder to diagnose without the dimension of time.
Right now is a concept that is irrelevant without the passing of time. It means nothing if the past and the future have no definition.
And yet, right now is everything to those of us with ADHD.
We want it now, we see it now, we are happy or sad or anxious or angry now.
But the past?
I remember being angry, but I don’t really remember feeling angry and I can’t really tell you when that happened.
It really is true that there are only two different times for us, now, and not now.
And the future?
I know it’s coming, but is it really?
When it gets here it won’t be the future, it will just be a continuation of the now that I’ve been experiencing my entire life.
It’s still now. It was now before, and it will be now later and while I’m waiting for that, it’s now now.
For us …
Now is kind of a state of being. It’s not so much a time as it is a way of life.
And yes, not now is easily divided up into already gone and not yet.
But not now really means only one thing to us. Not now is not our problem.
Now is our problem!
Since there are very few things that can be accomplished right now, most of them taking more time than this immediate moment, we have trouble figuring out how long to set aside for tasks that need doing.
Additionally, we have a hard time budgeting enough time for the inevitable distractions.
If you have ADHD
This is probably all making sense to you if you’re one of us.
But if you aren’t, you’re probably wondering how we can survive like this. How we can manage without understanding the concept of time.
Well, here’s a secret
The concept of time is easily understood by us, what we lack is a means of measuring it. Thus now looks to be the same size as not yet.
Also, though we have experienced the past, we are confused enough by the sense that it has all gone by in a blip, and yet we are years past our initialization.
And we have all had times in our lives when things were not good. And those fragments of now seemed to go on forever. There were excruciating minutes of torture that dragged by in interminable seconds that were like years to us.
I have ADHD
I’ve lived with it for almost sixty years and I ask you now, how is it possible that I feel like I’m 18 in my heart 90 in my body, how is it possible that I have spent years in agonizing situations that took up only days or weeks or months at most, how is it possible that this thing called time can be measured and calculated and made to serve, when it cannot even be observed to be consistent?
The answer? It can’t. Not for us. But we can keep on trying, and we’ll keep faking it until we figure it out.