Yesterday I had a great idea for a post for today.
I remember thinking it was great, that it was the epitome of ADHD and its issues.
And I remember thinking I couldn’t forget the subject, because it was so embedded in ADHD symptomatology that it was obvious to everyone, especially me.
So here I am, ready to write about it …
Whatever it was
The feeling that I couldn’t forget the topic is a familiar one. This isn’t the only context in which it occurs.
There are times when I have a brilliant ideas, so brilliant that I have the feeling that my idea will change my life, the world, will change … everything.
How could anyone possibly forget something that amazing?
I don’t know, but …
I can tell you that I feel such a positive emotional response to this manifestation of brilliance and that I never forget that response.
In fact, that emotion of happy pride is still there in my memory for me to tap into, but for some inexplicable reason, the neural pathways that proceed from that memory all dead end.
There is no connection between the emotion and the actual idea.
I was going to tell you
Today’s post was about some way in which I react or interact with the world. What’s worse, it was inspired by that reaction or interaction having happened yesterday.
The fact that it just happened to me made me believe that it would be easy to remember.
But the fact that I was pleased with myself was what my ADHD mind filed away.
How important is important?
It’s always smart to try to remember how something makes you feel, how important that thing is when you are remembering it, but somehow there seems to be a disconnect that causes a failure to store the thing itself.
We, people with ADHD, are emotional beings, and we are driven by those emotions. But when we fail at remembering something amazing, the emotions we feel serve only to punish us.
Okay, not completely true …
I’ve learned to carry a notebook.
And the people closest to me will often remind me to write things down if I forget.
I do remember to write things down on my own a lot more than I used to.
The more emotional an idea is, however, the more likely I am to convince myself that I don’t need to write it down, that I can’t possibly forget …
But I did, and I’m sorry.
And I have nothing to write about today.