In the Neuro-Typical world, everyone knows about Plan B.
When something goes wrong, plan B is the fall back position and consequent actions taken to stabilize the situation.
In the Neuro-typical world, having to fall back on Plan B is considered to be sub-optimal. Fair enough.
For those of us with ADHD, Plan B is considered early days. If we get away with pulling something off that only required Plan B we feel that’s cause for celebration.
You see …
While our minds are capable of rapid thought and seeing many connections, some of which might give us ideas that will make things happen in seemingly marvelous ways, we are also capable of rapid thoughts that allow us to miss seemingly small details that sometimes turn out to be the leading edge of full fledged road blocks.
Often what happens is that we plan an action, and see one possible outcome and zone in on that action to the exclusion of all others. We believe that there is no way that any other outcome could be possible, until another outcome happens and we realize we were wrong.
On to Plan B
Or Plan C … D, E? F maybe?
Ha, sometimes when things blow up in our faces we realize that there was little chance of anything happening other than the thing that happened. And sometimes we wonder how we ever believed that what we thought would happen was even vaguely possible.
Learning from our mistakes?
No. We don’t do that.
Well, maybe, sort of, but not in the way you might think. We learn to move forward.
We learn to accept what has happened, and after many repetitions of this scenario, we learn to move forward with little thought about how we got there.
That’s not true. We all have regrets.
But what we have learned (or will learn eventually) is that dwelling on regrets will hold us back from moving forward and making progress.
Indulge me here
I’m a Canadian, and curling is a thing I do. I haven’t always curled, only the last three years of my life have I been really involved in the sport, so it’s kind of fresh to me.
In curling, you have to throw a stone at a certain “weight.” That’s basically the speed that the rock has when it leaves your hand. That weight is caused by your own launch from the hack. Once you and the stone are sliding, you cannot push it with any control.
Whether or not you have the right weight is dependent on the ice conditions. How cold is the ice? How well pebbled was it? Has the ice been worn down any by previous rocks and sweeping.
No problem, right?
When the rock left your hand, you gave it a little spin. If you don’t do that you have no way of guessing where it will go, if you do, it will curve on a more likely arc.
If you threw enough weight the sweepers won’t have to sweep as much, possibly not at all. If they do have to sweep, the “curl” of the stone will likely be straightened out.
If you threw the stone on the line you were supposed to at the weight you were supposed to throw, and if the sweepers were able to get it where it was supposed to go and if the curl was exactly what your skip wanted ….
And if …
… if your stone didn’t hit some bit of lint or hair or spot of dirt or a small feather (don’t laugh, that happened to me, someone’s down filled jacket shedding), and if you hit the spot you were supposed to hit …
Then everything is great.
You guessed it. Plan B. Or C or whatever. With so many variables, the outcome of any shot is really up in the air.
So when we set up for the next shot, we do not look back. There’s no time to waste on what might have happened.
It didn’t happen.
I’ve learned a lot from living with ADHD.
And I’ve learned a lot from curling.
And of all the things I do in my life, curling is the most like my real life.
In curling, like in life, I’m often working on Plan Z, sometimes Plan Z 2.0 …