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How To Date Someone With ADHD

the dating game
You should play!

I think it’s time we gave out some of our secrets.

Well, okay, they aren’t secrets, they’re more like observations that haven’t been made by neuro-typicals.

The NTs aren’t unobservant, they just quit looking, quit observing once they think they understand someone.

But since ADHD has been around for … well, forever, and they’re only just starting to recognize it now, I think it’s fair to assume that they’re still not seeing the whole picture when it comes to social interaction with us.

Not only that …

The NTs all seem to think that ADHD is just our problem.

But you and I know that hanging with us and our people is so much fun that they need to learn how to cope with us if they don’t want to miss out, right?

Let’s bring them up to speed.


Just ask us out. Men asking women, women asking men, gender norms don’t matter much to us.

And things that shouldn’t surprise us surprise us all the time, so we’re really good at not looking surprised. In fact, surprise doesn’t really surprise us.

We’ll be flattered. I promise.


How do you dress for a date with one of us? Dress comfortably. We’ll be moving around a lot. If you take us somewhere where we have to sit still, we won’t likely be around for a second date.

If you want to look good, that’s fine, wear your best … sneakers and jeans.

Be prepared

Be prepared to climb things.

Arcades and parks and midways are great spots to take us.

Ooooh, the circus, always choose the circus if you have that opportunity.

We also like movies, so long as they aren’t boring. We do not want to go to the theater and watch “The Remains of the Day” no matter how great an actor Sir Anthony Hopkins is.

Remember …

We will talk, lots, if there is opportunity to do so. And our conversations are best described as verbal acrobatics.

Also remember that we will say inappropriate things occasionally.

And let me tell you up front, that thing we’re going to say that sounds callous and uncaring? We thought it was funny, we may even have missed the most obvious part of what we said when we ran it through our censor center (ha, like we have one of those).


Don’t wait for us to ask you out again if it seems like we had a good time. We might ask you out before the first date is over, or we might be trying to think of something great enough to be worthy of your attentions.

We might well think we’re going to ask you out again and then get caught up in the rest of our lives.

Just like forgetting a birthday or an anniversary doesn’t mean we don’t care, forgetting to ask you out again also deosn’t mean we didn’t want to.

And really lastly …

We like to go out.

And if we didn’t like you we wouldn’t likely have asked you out or accepted your invitation.

And we love, love, love to have fun. And if we love having fun with you, take that as the best of signs.

And do yourself a favor, try us out. When it comes to dating, we’re a lot of fun.

post script note: don’t bother asking me out, I’m on a date right now that has lasted over two years so far and shows little sign of letting up any time soon …

How To Date Someone With ADHD

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live on the traditional lands of the Chippewas of Nawash in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or 7 generations and my First Nations friend's families go back hundreds of generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I am a freelance writer and I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about living with ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man

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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2018). How To Date Someone With ADHD. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 15, 2020, from


Last updated: 26 Oct 2018
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