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If I Had One Wish

candles
Three wishes …

You know that game when you were a kid? The one where you get three wishes and you say, “My first wish would be for infinite wishes!”

Or maybe you say, “My third wish would be for three more wishes.”

And then some party pooper says, “Three wishes and you can’t wish for more wishes, so don’t.”

Spoil sport!

But that’s okay. I think I have this narrowed down.

If I had three wishes, my third wish would be to have the presence of mind to stay on point. Don’t get me wrong, if my mind didn’t go tripping around through all the different doors and hallways of its labyrinth-like construction, I’d be a pretty bored boy.

But I have to say that it would be nice to be able to just turn that off for long enough to get stuff done and then return to it again.

Why?

I hate boredom and it hates me. When I look back at my life, it’s always been when I’ve been bored that I’ve gotten into trouble.

So turn off the tripping, traipsing mind when I need to and turn it back on when I want to.

If I had three wishes, this would be my third and final wish.

The second wish?

Right. Good thing I have these headers to keep me focused, eh? My second wish would be a lot like my first one. A different sort of presence of mind.

This one would be the one that kicked in when I went to do something impulsive.

But I don’t want it to stop me, just make me pause and ponder whether or not I’ve done everything in my power to make sure what I’m about to do doesn’t turn out poorly.

Impulse engines ahead full …

Much of the fun I’ve had in my life has come from being impulsive. I’m the first to admit that I’ve gotten into trouble by being impulsive, but often times I’ve gotten in trouble and still had fun.

All I want is to know that I’ve done everything in my power to reduce the trouble to a minimum.

So if I only had two wishes, this would be the last one I’d make.

And if I only had one wish?

That’s an easy one. I wouldn’t change anything about the way my brain works. I’d live with it. Deal with the consequences, pretty much like I do now. But I would wish to be happy and content with this old brain.

Now in truth, I’m a pretty happy guy. It looks like I had that one wish and I made it. But in the dark moments, when I stop to ponder my life and the world I’ve affected around me, I often find discontentment, guilt, and shame.

It’s not for me …

My logical mind says that these things do not belong to me, but my caring mind shoulders that burden and carries it, out of sight of those who would feel like they need to help me with it.

And I would give almost anything to never have to show it to anyone, but sometimes circumstance demands that I have to set it down in front of the world and … there it is.

So if I could, I would wish that all that guilt and shame – that I know is not my fault and that I cannot fix – would go to hell and stay there.

I’d wish that I could live in this world without anyone having to worry about or feel sorry for me.

If I Had One Wish

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2018). If I Had One Wish. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 25, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2018/09/if-i-had-one-wish/

 

Last updated: 15 Sep 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Sep 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.