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We Don’t Know The Way

Screen Capture from Google Maps, "You are here!"
Then you take a left, right?

Plans are good. We know what we want, what we want to do, where we want to be, so we make plans.

This is a human thing.

And we are humans

How it works

NTs (Neuro Typicals) are good at this. They often figure out where they want to be and make plans to get there.

We do that also.

But

Whether you have ADHD or suffer from Delusions of Normalcy (DON), things don’t always work out.

The world is not out to get you, but it also isn’t watching over you either.

The world is made up of people who are also trying to find their way, and the things they do on the road to their destination can sometimes leave road blocks in the paths of others.

ADHD? NTs?

There’s no difference between the two when it comes to this happening.

But the way we react depends on our ability to focus and remain focused.

Yep, that’s where the train falls off the rails.

Wait, how many analogies are there?

I know, it’s getting a little … confusing.

But listen, When things go wrong, we, the people with ADHD, tend to want to know why.

Then we tend to want to try to fix that. Our focus has been drawn. We often drill down into the issue and try to fix it.

Is that bad?

Because of the attraction of problem solving in details, we sometimes miss the opportunity to take a step back and see if there is a way around.

I have observed that the NT’s often do this as a first course of action.

It goes like this …

ADHD derailed:

While getting the car packed for the cottage, I realize that I need to bring the thing that just barely fits in the car. And I’ve already put a bunch of stuff in. So I start rearranging the things that are in to make room for the thing that is big. Eventually it becomes apparent that the thing will not fit in unless I take some of the other things out first and then put the big thing in and then arrange the other things in around it. After finally getting the big thing in I manage to get almost all the other stuff in except two bags and a box. I decide that the one bag can stay, but the other has to come. I take half of the stuff back out to find a second bag that can stay behind and then pack all the stuff that has to come with us in. I tape the box to the roof of the car.

Or it goes like this …

NT derailed:

While getting the car packed for the cottage, I realize that I need to bring the thing that just barely fits in the car. And I’ve already put a bunch of stuff in … so I unpack it all and put it in the truck and we take that to the cottage.

And I’m sorry

I’m sorry if that seems a little silly as an example, but the truth of it is that it’s … well, the truth.

We know where we want to go, and we can plan on how to get there, and when things change we can figure out a new way to try, but we don’t ever know the way until we’ve traveled it.

And we have become aware that the way there isn’t always the way back.

Things change. We adapt. But we do it our own way.

We Don’t Know The Way

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2018). We Don’t Know The Way. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 16, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2018/06/we-dont-know-the-way/

 

Last updated: 29 Jun 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Jun 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.