A reader commented on this blog yesterday and spoke so eloquently about having ADHD that it inspired me to revisit the “realization” phase of ADHD discovery.
When Driz was reading in my blog about Acedia, the phrase they used was, ” … a dreadful feeling of recognition.”
I remember that
Oh how I remember that. Just reading Driz’ words gave me shivers.
I remember suddenly feeling like I was looking at photos of the first fossils of me discovered thousands of years in the future, long after I’d been a primitive entity, aimlessly roaming the earth, trying to figure out who and what I was.
It is possibly not unlike the feeling of a person who was adopted discovering their family for the first time.
And the shivers?
They still happen when I realize how much of my life went by with me not knowing what the hell was going on with me.
Well, that’s not quite true, I knew what was going on, mostly, but I didn’t know why some of it happened, and I didn’t know that it wasn’t the same for others, and I didn’t know that I couldn’t change the parts I knew were different.
It’s a matter of perspective. I can change how I deal with and how I approach situations, but I can’t change who I am.
The perspective is all in the knowing. You see, having ADHD and knowing it means that I, and Driz, and the rest of us, can appreciate the differences and the needs and the reactions and the approaches and all of it.
And that means we can learn how to deal with ourselves, how to make our lives work.
Knowledge is power
It is half of a toolbox full of tools.
And the other half of that toolbox we fill up with coping mechanisms that we make or discover on our own.
But we make and discover those tools much more easily when we know more about what we are dealing with.
Driz also said:
“Months after the lightbulb went on I’m still discovering ways in which it’s been impacting me all along.”
That’s a good thing, Driz.
We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, let’s not ever quit examining the impact of our disorder on our lives.
And let’s not ever quit sharing what we’ve learned as we go. Our friends, our family, and our children, our friend’s children, our nieces and nephews can all benefit from our understanding.
As well …
Every person we come in contact with will benefit from our being better people.
Understanding ADHD for us is a win/win situation.
Those around us get our best, and we thrive.
So when you discover another little bit of yourself hidden in the rubble and wreckage of the life you were holding together until the bomb of discovery went off, pick it up, dust it off, and say to yourself … “There you are.”