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The 10:13

doughnut
The 10:13

There are people out there that I don’t really understand. From my perspective, there’s no joy in their lives.

Okay, I’m willing to admit that I can’t tell whether or not they’re happy. That’s why I said “From my perspective …”

But I stand by my observation. I don’t see what joy they’re getting out of life.

You see …

I see them at their homes on the weekend, running their lives like a well oiled clock. One tank of propane on their BBQ and a spare that they filled the day after they swapped it out.

The alarm went off at the same time that it does on weekdays. They got up and checked their calendar and dressed according to what it told them they were doing.

Their children still ask …

“Can we go to the beach today?” They’re children. It’s their job to ask. But you can tell by the tone of their voices that they already know that if it isn’t in the schedule it isn’t going to happen.

Spontaneous fun is only going to happen when it is scheduled.

It’s all very neat

Neat and tidy is what it is. The lawn is cut. The car is clean. The garage door was painted before it started to flake, before it needed it in fact. That’s how they knew it was time to paint it, because it wasn’t yet needing it.

And I can see how all this would be okay. I can appreciate what it might feel like to have a day when I realize absolutely nothing needs doing except what’s on my schedule. I think that would be great.

You know, great as a unique sort of experience. A fun thing to have happen one day. But day in and day out?

Thanks, but no thanks

To be quite honest, even bluntly so, I can’t imagine a life where I am governed by obligation to the exclusion of spontaneity and originality. I can’t fathom how I could get anywhere in life other than to the end of it by doing the same things all the time in the same way in the same order at the same time.

I can’t even think about it without getting a little ill.

I need structure

Yes, I need structure in my life, and I’m thankful for the existence of it in my life right now. I adore that there is a plan and that I can find out what it is when I forget by simply asking.

I am blessed with this in my life. But I am even more blessed with the flexibility that is built into that structure. It is truly structure and not routine.

There is no “5:22 – put steak on grill to have done exactly at 5:30 when salad arrives from kitchen and potatoes and corn are simultaneously also done … just like last Saturday at 5:30!” in my life.

Instead there is the spontaneous 10:13 doughnut. It was the last one out of the half dozen that we bought on the weekend when we went for groceries because we hadn’t done shopping all week. And I was supposed to be writing and taking care of some IT work on another site and figuring out some audio gear for an upcoming recording I’m doing and instead I looked at my watch and said, “10:13 – eat that last doughnut. You’ll enjoy that and be better able to get things done afterwards.”

So I did

I ate the 10:13.

And I enjoyed it … what’s next?

The 10:13

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2018). The 10:13. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 21, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2018/06/the-1013/

 

Last updated: 12 Jun 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Jun 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.