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Where Do You Belong?

kelly steering dragon boat
I belong there …

You are an adult with ADHD. You know the feeling of being somewhere that you don’t belong. You know it well.

You didn’t belong in so many groups and organizations didn’t fit in at school, at social gatherings, weren’t sure why you were invited to participate in organized events.

Yeah, me neither.

I was the square peg, the world was my round hole. I floundered.

But …

Eventually, I learned how to cope. And there’s a recipe for that. And I’m going to share it with you.

At least, I’m going to share the recipe that works for me.


There are only two ingredients, and you need equal parts of them.

And the great thing is, you already have them on hand. I know you do.

They are persistence and attitude!


Were you expecting that? You’ve been using those all along, haven’t you?

Well, here’s the thing, the attitude has to be more one of “I don’t give a damn whether or not you think I belong here, I’m staying until I feel like I’m done with this!”

And the persistence is the kind that makes you stick it out long enough to say you gave a thing a fair chance.

And the method?

Every recipe needs a method, right? So here is mine.

Put your boots on and get out there. Find the thing you think you’d like to try. Find out what it involves and then, if you’re still interested, step into it like it was a wild horse and you were the only trainer that could break it like it was a two-gallon bowl of ice cream you were challenged to eat.

Step into it like it was a pair of pants made just for you, and wear it like it was prophesied in some ancient text.

Bring those ingredients!

Have that attitude turned on and persist until you win.

And if you don’t win keep that attitude turned on while you step away from the thing. Just tell yourself you did win, ’cause you left on your own terms and you left to find the next big thing.

Then find the next big thing and keep at it.

How do I know this works?

Well, I’m 59 years old and I’ve found a few places I belong.

I don’t always fit in with the people around me, but I also don’t care so much about that anymore. They can meet me halfway and then try to keep up.

Where do I belong?

I belong in the hack, about to throw a curling rock. I belong in a café working on your website content. I belong on the back of a dragon boat, holding the steering oar and keeping my crew safe. I belong on the trail, walking and absorbing the world. I belong in the library doing research and on stage as the master of ceremonies for any show you need to put on.

In short, I belong where ever I choose to be, and I choose to be where I have made myself comfortable.

And those places aren’t all run-of-the-mill places.

And that’s just fine with me.


Where Do You Belong?

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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2018). Where Do You Belong?. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 16, 2019, from


Last updated: 16 May 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 May 2018
Published on All rights reserved.