I write about ADHD three days a week. And I dwell on the subject every day of my life.
And there are times when I feel like I’m living a recurring dream that borders on being a nightmare. You know that one where you’re doing the thing but it’s not having any effect and you can’t succeed because the bad things just keep coming ….
I’m not trying to discourage anyone from writing or from dealing with ADHD. In fact, I’m not trying to discourage people from writing about their experiences with ADHD. The more people talk about it openly and honestly the better our lives will be.
And yes, since I have ADHD, my mind does not stay on topic all the time (any of the time?), so yes, if you’re going to press me, I don’t think about ADHD constantly, but my mind returns to it often.
And writing about it three times a week means I have to consider it frequently, and that often happens when I’ve been thinking about other things.
No rest for the wicked, as they say. So I write about ADHD. I write about what it’s like to have it, to deal with it, to deal with the way it is perceived and the way I am treated when people find out about it.
I write about the research sometimes, though in fairness, I find that a bit dry. I write about the heroes who speak up for us, and the asshats that make ludicrous claims about ADHD’s veracity and reality.
And the every day people?
… hmmmm. Well, sometimes I do. But not often. And I do think that’s a shame.
I get comments now and then, and I admit I’m not great at responding to them all the time. I try, but I’m usually a little late getting to them.
And I should read them more often, because they sometimes give me a lift.
Sometimes they hurt to read. Sometimes someone is telling me, in an email or a comment, that their life sucks and it doesn’t seem to show signs of ever getting better.
…. but sometimes ….
Sometimes someone will write a comment or an email that makes me feel like I might have been doing this for more than just the opportunity to write. Sometimes I’ll hear something that suggests this blog is a good thing. Sometimes, someone, out of the blue, will tell me something that makes me feel like I haven’t been shouting down an empty well after all.
Sometimes I hate my ADHD life. Sometimes I’m tired of talking about it. Sometimes I want to go somewhere where I don’t have anything to do and therefore don’t need to be reminded that concentrating and focusing is a near impossibility for me.
Sometimes my life is rough. Sometimes it’s hell, sometimes it’s really, really bad
But sometimes …. it’s good.
Thank you for your comments. You pick me up when I’m feeling down. Thank you. Thanks.