It’s absolutely amazing how fast time passes.
I mean, I have no idea how fast time moves, but when I look back at my childhood and ponder the fact that I was nine years old … fifty years ago, I can’t even countenance such an expanse of weeks and months and years.
How could five decades, nearly six now, have passed in my life without me being able to feel like they were here and now they’re gone.
Last week took forever to go by. And this week I’ve been waiting for news on the phone, and it feels like five decades since the week began.
I have ADHD, and time seems to be something I have trouble defining in my mind.
I know that people without ADHD have some of the same troubles, my problems with time have more to do with the present and the future.
Leave the past …
The present is when I have the most trouble with time. I will start things that I feel will take just a few moments, only to discover they need hours of attention.
Did that make you shudder? I felt it too. Hours of attention? A great way to torture someone with ADHD.
I’m prepared to confess to things I didn’t do, crimes I didn’t commit, so long as I don’t have to contemplate “hours of attention!”
Also in the present
There are tasks I will avoid because of how long I think they’ll take.
It is unlikely that they will require as much time as I think they will, but if I don’t actually consider how much time it might take, I will accept the assumption that it is infinite.
The truth is that my impression is skewed because of the agony of doing certain things.
Filing income tax is like that. It probably would take me an hour. It takes less than that if I go to an income tax preparer and have them do it for me in an interview.
But just watching them fill out the form, even on a screen, is excruciating.
And no, I don’t know why.
But I do know
The pain of certain tasks is what skews my sense of time. I’d could choose going to the dentist over filling out a form. They’re that close in appeal.
And I know that if you add this skewed superficial perception of time to my impulsive decision making, that’s when time management goes right out the window. That’s when I make decisions based on how long I think things will take.
Time comprehension, here in the present, is not one of my strengths. And the mess it makes of my future is easy enough to understand in this light.
I’m busy doing things that I thought would just take a moment, but more importantly, I’ve indebted my future time allotment to completing things that I’ve put off.
And since I’ve put those things off because of my perception of how long they will take, my future looks like a long list of daunting tasks that are about as appealing as being tied over an ant hill.
But … I’m still here, so I must be getting some of it right, right?