The ADHD Way I Talk
If you’re a regular reader of my blog, or even an irregular reader who has only glanced at a couple of posts, you might notice that I write reasonably well.
And additionally, you might realize that I don’t usually say inappropriate things, unless I’m actually going for calculated shock value.
The reason for this is that I am a writer.
No, wait …
I don’t mean that being a writer negates my ADHD and stops me from saying things that I shouldn’t say. I mean that as a writer I have the option to edit.
No, scratch that as well, I have the obligation to edit.
And I do.
So that means …
I reread things as I go, calculating the effect.
And I usually already know when something is likely to be the wrong thing to say, I usually already have the feeling that I probably shouldn’t have gone there.
And though I also have that feeling when I’m speaking, when I’m speaking it’s too late.
The only editing I can do when I’m speaking is to attempt to change context with additional conversation in order to put the inappropriate statement into a softer light.
And yes, you’re thinking that won’t always work, and you’re right.
In fact, sometimes it makes things much worse.
It’s like I’m driving down the road and I make a decision to turn at an intersection and it turns out that intersection was a railway track and now there’s a train heading right towards me.
And in trying to make it better, I’ve put the car into high gear.
And sometimes, in order to just get through the incident, I’ll put the pedal down to the floor.
You can easily imagine how much I prefer to communicate by writing. Even in chat or by text, there’s always that moment before you hit send when you get to reread what you’ve written and decide if it’s appropriate.
And if it isn’t, as I said before, you get to edit … unless you hit send accidentally.
Thus, it seems that we, people with ADHD that is, thrive online where we often sputter and stall in real life.
We are, to quote the popular Brad Paisley song, “So much cooler on line.”
I’ll get back to you on that …
So if you’re wanting to discuss things with me and you don’t mind the arms length atmosphere of it, I do rather prefer email over face to face or phone calls, and I do prefer messenger or texting over email.
Because I prefer to be able to edit what I say before I say it.
Because I prefer not to offend or insult.
Because I want to be effective, and let’s face it … I really am so much cooler online.
Babcock, K. (2018). The ADHD Way I Talk. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 25, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2018/03/the-adhd-way-i-talk/