The Communication Problem
I have a problem communicating. Actually, I have problems communicating. Plural problems.
And ADHD is behind them. Or at least my ADHD makes them worse.
And that means to be a good communicator, I need to guard myself, find coping mechanisms, put them in place and keep them there.
And the problems start with …
If communication is the art of conveying ideas, abstracts, and concepts clearly and succinctly, distraction is the art of not doing that at all.
In fact, to some extent, distraction is more like forgetting that you’re talking to someone else. It’s like carrying on a conversation with yourself out loud in the presence of some bystander who had a reason for being there originally, but now is just wondering how to gracefully go to the other side of the room and talk to anybody else please just let me not be here any more.
Oddly enough, I’ve had some amazing epiphanies and solved some difficult problems while in some distracted conversation with someone else, but I’ve never had that happen until I’d taken over their side of the conversation.
Many times I’ve been told that people don’t want to hear all about my work. I’ve also been told to give other people a chance to talk. But the truth is, they all seem to want to talk about things they are interested in and, let’s face it, that can be pretty boring stuff.
And then they ramble. I mean, people call me distracted. But I’m telling you truthfully that I’ve been in conversations in social situations where people want to talk about four and five and even more different topics, long before I’ve exhausted my knowledge of the first topic I started just an hour or three ago.
Okay, this one is totally true. If you let me talk long enough, the likelihood that I’ll say something inappropriate becomes greater. I call it Babcock’s law of thermodynamic ADHD conversation. Think of an incident that involves XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXÂ happening at a XXXXXXXXXXXXX (CENSORED). Actually, I may have just proven Babcock’s Law with that last statement, if so, I’m sorry.
But in everyday conversation, the occurrence of inappropriateness in conversation cannot be edited out, and it cannot be considered to be too unlikely a possibility.
And lastly, back to distraction
At the beginning I mentioned distraction as something that affects the flow and direction of conversation and communication.
But there is also the possibility that, during a conversation, a conversation that may actually hold some interest to the other parties participating therein, the person with ADHD (often me) may simply be distracted by something or someone else and walk away in mid
Babcock, K. (2018). The Communication Problem. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2018/02/the-communication-problem/