My resolution is to be more clear

… you know, if I can manage to be

As a person with ADHD I can tell you that making resolutions to improve my life is not something I only do on New Years.

If I had a dollar for every time I said “I’m never doing that again.”  and every time I said, “That’s how I’m doing this from now on.” I’d be stupid rich by now.

And if I had a dollar for every time I said those things and then forgot , I’d still be a pretty wealthy man. In fact, I’d be almost the same stupid rich I would have been just for saying them.

So you’d think I’d be used to making unkept resolutions.

And …

Yeah, okay, I’m used to it. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy it. It doesn’t even mean I tolerate it well. I hate it.

So this year I’m going to make a few resolutions I should be able to keep.

In 2018 …

… I resolve to not kick any babies. I will not stick my tongue to any steel posts in winter. I will drive mostly on the right side of the road, not the wrong side.

In 2018 I will not jump out of any airplane without a parachute, and I will likely not jump out of any airplane with a parachute.

In addition,

In 2018 I will unwrap every wrapped present I am given. I will drink lots of water, at least as much as I usually drink, or there abouts. I will find it in my heart to smile when the mood takes me.

I will write. I will read. I will walk when I feel like it, and I may even bicycle a bit.

Now the hard stuff …

This year I resolve to look at my golf clubs and contemplate playing golf more often. I resolve to think about putting more miles on my motorcycle. I resolve to give more thought to organizing my files.

In 2018 I will ponder being a nicer person, though I’m not really sure how that is even possible.

In this new year …

I resolve to not chew gum, ever, just like the last thirty years of my life, what even is that stuff, eh?

I promise to be nice to elderly, retired librarians who are nice to me. I promise to smile when I get the opportunity and I have nothing else pressing.

I promise to be the best coffee drinker I can be.

I resolve to be distracted.

I resolve to put things off.

I resolve to be inappropriate at times, and ineffectual on occasion.

I resolve to eat when I’m hungry and there is food available.

I resolve to breathe, regularly, and not give up doing that for the rest of my life.

And lastly, I resolve to deal with my ADHD to the best of my ability and advise others on what I think might help them in their struggle with this disorder.