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Not A Day Goes By …

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Not even one …

There are some things that are a part of life for some of us.

For instance, you may not know it to look at me, but I’m an alcoholic. And not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could just say “Screwitol” and sit myself down with a nice tall drink.

Or seventeen of them.

The other thing that people can’t see when they look at me is my ADHD.

But, the way you dress …

Yeah, yeah. But lots of people of all kinds have no fashion sense … or so I’m told.

And anyone could have a day when they realized their other suit was at the cleaners.

But seriously

Me standing in a doorway asking myself, “What did I come in here for?” is not an indication that I have ADHD, unless you’ve noticed that this is the seventh time I’ve done that and it’s only 9:32AM.

So there’s two things that happen to me every day, that people may not notice with a casual glance in my direction.

Just the beginning …

There are deeper depths that I’m willing to plumb and revelations I’d like to share here. Let’s begin with the fact that I regret something every day.

It seems to be a way of life for me. And it isn’t some deep dark secret, in fact, it changes frequently.

For instance, I often regret not staying on the farm. I really think my life would have been a lot calmer there.

I can shut down the negative thoughts that come with that regret quite easily, by simply reminding myself of all the wonderful relationships I’ve had and am having in my life. I know that a calm and quiet farm life would have been a lot less socially outgoing.

What else?

I regret not having figured out this ADHD stuff in time to have told my mother about it.

I regret not thanking my grandmother for her infinite understanding of me and my mind. Even though she also never had a name for the way I am, she was the first and best teacher in my life who tasked herself with my education.

And certainly not the least …

Not a day goes by that I do not regret having ADHD. I know that there is nothing I could have done to change this, but I regret it just the same.

I regret that I have burdened so many with my inability to focus at times, and my ability to procrastinate, and hyper-focus on things I don’t need to be doing.

I regret not having pursued, in one marathon run, an education worthy of my grandmother’s respect.

I regret that life has moved on while I continue to contemplate, like an eighteen year old, what to do with myself.

I regret not getting the opportunity to experience life without ADHD.

But, I do not …

Not ever, not at any time have I even momentarily entertained the idea that I regret having had this life.

And even with ADHD … no, scratch that, especially with ADHD, I have found my life to be an adventure of the grandest kind.

I take myself as seriously as I need to, but never too seriously, and I let my wonderful mind free to color in the corners and light up the vistas of this grey little world.

And not a day goes by that I am not thankful for this mind and this life and these times and the people who are accepting of me and my oddly ADHD ways.

Not A Day Goes By …


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2018). Not A Day Goes By …. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 19, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2018/01/not-a-day-goes-by/

 

Last updated: 17 Jan 2018
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.