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How Did That Go?

present
Give yourself a present

Okay, the bulk of celebration in North America at this time of year is Christmas celebration.

So I’m assuming that for most of the North American people with ADHD, Christmas is over.

For those of you who still have celebrations to attend, you can read on, there’s no spoilers in here.

Well, I can tell you that it ends, I just can’t tell you how.

But how is important

Yes it is. You see, whether you know it or not, when it comes to having ADHD, the big picture is actually a lot smaller than others would have you believe.

The big picture is your life.

And?

Ah, yes. Well, others would try to convince you that it is how your ADHD impacts them. And that’s why they are so determined to tell you to just don’t have it.

It’s also why so many of them are determined that it doesn’t exist.

Wait …

Yes. It seems like a bit of an egotistical approach to your disorder. Perhaps even ego-maniacal, but it really isn’t.

You see, while the effect our ADHD has on our relatives, friends, and acquaintances is the most painful part of how this disorder manifests, trying to cope by focusing on that aspect is never going to work.

In other words?

In other words, don’t try to make things better for those around you, you’ll only be pumping water out of the ship. The ship is still leaking.

Try to make things better for yourself. Figure out how to cope with the things that make your life difficult.

And then?

It won’t be an over night fix, although you might notice changes almost immediately.

But eventually, the better you cope, the less others will have to complain about.

Selfish?

Yes, it sounds like it is, doesn’t it?

But if you want to be a person that others accept more readily, you have to be better at coping, and that means better at being happy with yourself.

It’s like all those other paradoxes that our lives are rife with. We make others happier by making ourselves happier first.

So, how did it go yesterday?

Did you have a good time? Did you accept that you’d be a little late and forgive yourself for that? Did you catch yourself talking a little too loudly on occasion? Did you lose track of conversations in the middle of sentences? Did you corner someone and pin them conversationally to a wall and talk their head off for way too long before you realized that their primary interest at that point was actually not conspiracy theories but methods of escape?

And at the end of it all, were you okay with that? Were you okay with how you did? Because once you accept who and what you are, it really does become a lot easier to make little changes and find ways to modify things.

And also, once you are okay with who you are, you’ll find that a lot more people will be okay with that too.

So, how did it go?

I hope it went well. And I hope it goes even better next year. And by the way, next year is a week away.

How Did That Go?

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2017). How Did That Go?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2017/12/how-did-that-go/

 

Last updated: 26 Dec 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Dec 2017
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.