I'm the number one

Maybe even the nummiest

I can think of any number of times I was oblivious to the obvious. It happens quite frequently.

And there’s a sick feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when that occurs.

It’s kind of like watching an accident about to happen and being unable to do anything about it.

Suddenly, people are looking at me like I have a third eye.

And I wish I had a third eye, ’cause then I might have seen whatever it is that I must be missing that’s making them look at me that way.


The other day, I was working away and was writing something about being numb. I don’t remember what it was I was writing, someone asked me about it later.

And the thing they asked me was if I was aware that I had used the word “number” to indicate a “more numb: condition.

No, no I was not …

Some years ago I was in a walk-a-thon to raise money to help fight cancer. The concept was a relay, we were on a team, one of us was always walking. The teams had names. I don’t remember ours …

But I do remember a team who had a big banner that said something about “Heart & Sole …”

Pretty clever?

Too clever, I guess. I didn’t get it. I was amazed that no one had noticed that they had spelled “soul” wrong. I almost went up to their encampment and told them of their mistake.

I was this close …

Why didn’t I?

Probably the same reason I didn’t get the pun on the word “sole.” I have ADHD.

I noticed it when I was walking. We walked a circuit around the different teams encampments, and when I got back to my teams spot, I had already forgotten. Each time I walked by, I thought about it, but I was busy walking.

And when did I clue in?

Ha. I didn’t. Well, I didn’t clue in then. Nor did I figure it out for a few weeks.

I even told some people about it, and they seemed confused by what I was saying. I assumed they were confused by how anyone could make the mistake they had made.

Turns out …

Yep. They were confused by me not getting it.

Now in fairness, I assumed that sole meant fish. It took me a few weeks to realize they were talking shoe sole, as in walking shoe sole …

The delay switch

Yes, the switch on the light bulb in my mind was on extreme delay that day … er, those weeks.

I’m often in a state of mental numbness, but at that time I seemed to be number. That is, I was more numb.

Ah hell, I was the numbest.