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The Rest Is Gravy

deep fried turkey
Who needs gravy?

Have you heard about this? This weekend, this long weekend, October 6th to 9th, is the Canadian Thanksgiving.

It happens earlier than American Thanksgiving because winter also happens earlier and the American date is too late in the year for us to be able to count on the weather.

So the holiday progression, for those keeping score, is Canadian Thanksgiving, Halloween, American Thanks giving, and then Christmas.

But when it comes to thanksgiving celebrations, other than the dates being different, the concept of the day is roughly the same. Cook too much, over eat, pass out in a food coma, then worry about what to do with the leftovers.

And …

… if you have ADHD, like any other holiday, there will be stress added to that mix.

But I’ve learned to deal with it, negate it, subjugate the resultant negativity. And I’m here to tell you how!

It’s the same as …

You know how I’m always saying that what has happened before can’t be changed? Doesn’t matter? Is in the past and we just move on from here? Yeah, you’ve heard me say “We start from here and move on,” right?

Well, the trick to dealing with holiday stress is realizing that very thing … in advance. If we assume that what is going to happen is going to happen, and we accept it, we immediately reduce the stress that worrying about it causes.

Without stress

That’s right, without stress our symptoms aren’t as prevalent. And without prevalent symptoms, our ADHD (which is, let’s face it, manifested as a collection of symptoms) is reduced in its affects on our lives.

So just as ADHD causing stress causes ADHD which causes more stress, which causes … well, you get it, just as that is the case, reducing stress causes less symptoms which reduces stress further, etc.

Self fulfilling

That’s right. As much as having ADHD causes stress to be more present in your life, reducing stress causes ADHD to be less prevalent in your life.

So reducing stress reduces stress further, increasing it increases it more. Wait. that sounds too simple, I mean if you add stress, you actually multiply it, but if you reduce it, you actually divide it, or multiply the amount by which it is reduced when you subtract it.

So yesterday …

Yesterday at our Canadian Thanksgiving dinner preparations, there were seemingly thousands of things to take care of. And while I knew they wouldn’t all get done, I knew that that would be okay.

Why? Because the meal was symbolic of what we were thankful for. It wasn’t really what we were celebrating.

And yes …

Yes, in the end, I forgot to make gravy. And I missed a few other opportunities to take care of some things. But they either have been forgotten or someone else pitched in and did them.

And I’m pretty sure the gravy would have been too much anyway, what with the deep fried turkey, the garlic mashed potatoes, the brussels sprouts with bacon, the carrots and parsnips, the stuffing cooked in foil on the BBQ, the peas, the roasted beets, and the home made coleslaw.

And then there was desserts of all kinds as well.

So, ruined?

In fact, the only one who mentioned the lack of gravy was me.

And in truth, it really wasn’t needed.

So when you think you’ve screwed up, remember this. We start from here, and that means from after the meal when it’s over, and we move on.

Everything that was needed to get us here has been done, gotten, gather, fulfilled. The rest would just have been … yeah, gravy.

The Rest Is Gravy

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man

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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2017). The Rest Is Gravy. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 20, 2018, from


Last updated: 9 Oct 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Oct 2017
Published on All rights reserved.