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Long Road Home

road
… just keep going

Life is, for most people, a long road.

And there’s always going to be rough parts to it, I’m aware of that.

But if you have ADHD, the very nature of this disorder makes the rough parts even rougher.

And no one likes a rough road, at least no one likes it to be rough constantly.

You got your potholes …

The things that make life difficult for us are the challenges, the same as everyone else. But they come at us a little differently.

Because we are so easily distracted, those potholes are often not only challenges, but are almost always surprises.

We’re empathetic, but not psychic

We frequently see the troubles ahead for others and get to warn them, even help them, but we’ll often miss our own problems.

Finding out you have a dental appointment in twenty minutes via a text from your wife, when you’re covered in dirt, in the garden, and it’s a fifteen minute drive there means that it’s when you’re pulling in to the dentists office after frantically changing and driving too fast to get there that you’ll suddenly become aware that you managed to forget to brush your teeth.

Transition much?

And, of course, when we have our heads down and are working on something that has our full attention, a new challenge is really just a requirement for us to transition from what we’re immersed in to something else.

And we do not do that well. We often get upset by that. It’s not nice and it’s never pretty.

So what do we do about this?

Well, we need to constantly remind ourselves that life is a journey and not a destination. I know, that sounds kitschy and clichΓ©, but the point is that day to day life is all we get. there’s no finish line where we win or lose.

In fact, when you get to the finish line of life, you lose. You’re dead. So winning is actually just living life, day to day.

And knowing that …

Knowing that means we can put into perspective all the challenges and ADHD glitches that litter the “road of life” and recognize that they are not worth dwelling on.

So keep your cool, and keep moving. Remember that living is what we’re here to do. Living life.

And take what you can from this …

Many of these things, these challenges, have lessons hidden in them. We learn how to avoid this or fix that or precipitate some positive aspect of life as we deal with things.

But the ADHD irritants aren’t going to go away anytime soon. They’re not us misbehaving or being stupid, they are symptoms of a disorder that has no cure.

And there’s only one lesson

And that lesson is: Don’t let the symptoms bother you. Don’t dwell on them. Don’t beat yourself up for being unable to change them.

If the secret to life is that winning is just living, then don’t waste that life in constant self-flagellation over things that cannot be changed.

Live life well …

Accept that there are problems, certainly try to cope, learn to cope as best you can, but don’t waste one single minute in abusing yourself because you have ADHD.

After all, you didn’t choose it. It happened.

Long Road Home


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2017). Long Road Home. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 14, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2017/08/long-road-home/

 

Last updated: 23 Aug 2017
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.