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Lean On Me

ancient strength
Strength, like character, is built

I’m not the strongest person I know, but I’m as strong as I need to be if you need me to be there for you.

You see, I’ve had times when I could have used a friend to lean on. ADHD will do that to you.

And the worst of it is that many of those times when I could have used someone to lean on were times when others were leaning on me and not in a needful way, but in an abusive one.


I don’t mean to say that they were trying to be abusive, though that did happen on occasion. No, what was happening more often were the times when someone was trying to explain to me that all I needed to be more normal was to be more normal.

It always amazes me now when I consider how people would attempt to explain to me that my issues and problems were simply a matter of my not being like them.

It’s easy

Yes, it is. It’s easy for them to be like them. But here’s a question …

What if being normal is just a matter of being unable to see your own shortcomings? What if the neuro-typical person is just someone whose intellectual abilities, as adequate for life as they may be, have a blind spot when it comes to seeing their own inadequacies?

Wait … what?

Ha. Yeah, I know, right? This could change everything. What if they just have two blind spots, one that won’t allow them to see how they fall short in some ways, and one that won’t allow them to see that we are different and therefore are not ever going to “just be like them.”

But still, that’s not going to change anything, is it.

Well …

It might change how we feel about ourselves. and it might change how we feel about others. But it probably won’t gain widespread acceptance among the NTs. How would we prove it to them. They have those blind spots, right?

And in the mean time, we’ve been bearing up under the weight of their assessments and our own ability to see just how we fall short.

What doesn’t kill you …

So, we continue to bear the burden of this knowledge and we continue to bear up under its weight.

And I don’t know about you all, but I’m fairly certain that’s made me a stronger person.

So if you need someone to lean on, go ahead, lean on me when you’re not strong … wait, do you hear music?

Lean On Me

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live on the traditional lands of the Chippewas of Nawash in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or 7 generations and my First Nations friend's families go back hundreds of generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I am a freelance writer and I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about living with ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man

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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2017). Lean On Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 25, 2020, from


Last updated: 24 Jul 2017
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