That title sounds like I, as someone with ADHD, have gone fishing. I have not.
Well, I’ve gone fishing before, but not recently.
No, today I’m pondering how to identify how much of what I experience is colored by my having ADHD. I’m fishing, if you will, for that always elusive understanding of the effects of this disorder.
And particularly, I’m trying to understand how it affects me when I’m changing gears from being on holidays to being back at my desk.
Wait, what desk?
Okay, you caught me. I actually work where ever I happen to be. Although, yesterday I was at a cottage on a lovely lake with my feet up, when they weren’t dangling in the water off the edge of the dock.
And yesterday was a day when I usually publish a post here at Man of DistrAction, and that didn’t happen. The truth is, that I started the day just laying back and relaxing and finished it off by driving a few hundred kilometers to get home.
And today I’m trying to catch up
But just like when I try to change gears with just a moment’s notice (or someone tries to change my gears for me), I’m having trouble shifting back into the focus I need to be at my imaginary desk to write.
In truth, some of it is that I’m distracted by a lot of things that need doing. There’s no food here, so I have to do a bit of grocery shopping. There’s a weeks worth of laundry to catch up on. And I have a lunch appointment and an evening activity I’m committed to.
So, none of those things are getting done while I write. Well, the laundry is, but the noise of it is distracting me, seemingly saying, “Ha ha, you’re going to have to fold me soon.” And my ADHD is calling back to it saying, ” I can’t, I have to make lunch with no groceries first!”
It’s pretty difficult to write with that conversation going on in my head.
But that’s just things …
Well, it is, but it’s also the sort of things that I could ignore when I’m in used to working. I’ve been taken out of the structure of my life, left to my own devices for as week, had a bit of an adventure, and now I’m trying to work within the structure I used to work in.
The truth is, before this week, days were as busy as this one. And I managed. Right now, my mind is trying to get back to the cottage.
It’s a revolt!
My ADHD is trying to stop me from putting on my shoes to go get groceries. It’s trying to make me take off my socks, roll up my pants and dangle my feet back in the water.
My ADHD is trying to take me fishing. And that would be something I’d love to do.
But dammit, the laundry needs to be changed. And there’s still writing to do. And I do have to get those groceries. And make lunch … get to my appointment …