There’s an old saying, made famous by the band, Dire Straights, that tells us basically that we don’t get to choose a lot of what happens in our lives. Sometimes you’re the windshield, and sometimes you’re the bug. SPLAT!
And that’s true. We can sometimes see the future, but we can’t always do things about it even if we can tell what is about to happen.
And many things just happen seemingly so spontaneously that we’re taken by surprise.
ADHD is kind of one of those things. It happens to us long before we can see it coming.
Before we are completely aware of who or what we are, and certainly long before we are aware that there is a more common way to be, people notice that we have certain aspects to our makeup that are, shall we say different from the neuro-typical child.
And then we get to experience our lives colored by that comparison, for few people will ever let us forget that we are different.
And, in fairness to the rest of the world, we won’t let ourselves forget it either. Though it would be nice if the rest of the world would notice how hard we are on ourselves and let up on us a little.
So, windshield? or …
Well, good question that. ADHD is actually the disorder of “didn’t see that coming.” But we are the windshield sometimes. We put our heads down and hyperfocus on something that we cannot tear ourselves away from. And next thing you know, we’ve plowed through something we should have seen.
Ironically, I remember driving out of a DIY car wash bay and turning on the windshield wipers. There was a spot of bug gunk that I’d missed on the windshield and I was squirting washer fluid at it and watching the wipers slowly make that speck smaller and smaller and smaller and … I ran into the cement base of a coin operated car vacuum.
Sometimes we really are the bug
There are times when you are concentrating so hard on just trying to get through this life, this year, this month or week or even just this meal, without doing or saying or being the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time … and suddenly, you forgot that appointment, you didn’t do your taxes, you lost track of time trying to do a bunch of important stuff and got distracted from some other important thing, like the kids waiting at school or … what was that other thing you were supposed to do? Oh yeah, you forgot to go to work.
And yeah, the windshield/bug thing is real life for everyone, but somehow, when you’re looking for examples of it, it comes up a lot more frequently for those of us with ADHD then for the rest of us.
Why, just the other day I was driving down the road, and nearly missed my turn. I got distracted by a bug, crawling across the inside of my windshield. Fortunately my navigator was on the ball.