Numb And Dull, But Still ADHD
So last night I completely forgot to have a coffee before bed.
I know, some of you will say “Coffee keeps you awake.”
It actually did back when I thought it was supposed to. I’d have a coffee and I’d go to bed and lie there thinking how I was never going to be able to get to sleep. I’d worry and stew about it, and I’d stay awake to do that.
On several occasions I would have a coffee and go to bed with a book and think I would just read until the coffee wore off.
How’d that go?
Great, unless I really needed to get the book read. I’d get through maybe five or six pages and find the book lying on my nose.
I’d pick it up and start again, you know, reading things that seemed familiar but that I couldn’t remember well enough to predict even though I’d already read them as I was dozing off.
I thought I had the cure for coffee!
I figured reading was all I needed to do to cure an accidental caffeination. It turns out that that was true, but at the same time it was false.
The real cure for an accidental caffeination was to just not worry about it.
Penicillin in a dirty petri dish
A bit off course here, but this guy discovers, when he gets back from vacation, that his dirty lab has acquired a bunch of culture, and not the kind that requires wine and tuxedos for viewing. Of course, this is an old and well known story, one of those cultures turned out to be the antibiotic discovery of the decade, or century, or possibly even of the millennium. Good old penicillin.
And I discovered that a little bit of stimulant would actually help me go to sleep faster, although I was probably growing penicillin on my counter also at the time.
So, coffee before bed?
I’ve heard on the grape vine recently that some people with ADHD are actually being prescribed a small dose of Methylphenidate (Ritalin) to take at bedtime. The theory is that stimulants help us focus and keep our minds from bouncing around.
And since I seem to be unable to take Methylphenidate without it exacerbating my anxiety issues, I get to choose from the stimulants available to me.
And I choose coffee!
But like all of us who take stimulant meds in their simplest of forms, we are left trying to remember to take them when we need them. And when we need them is when we are not at our best … not the best time to be trying to remember to do anything, really.
So last night, I forgot my coffee before I went to bed. I slept poorly, and I’m numb, and dull.
But I still have my ADHD. Lucky me, eh?
Babcock, K. (2017). Numb And Dull, But Still ADHD. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 22, 2017, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2017/04/numb-and-dull-but-still-adhd/