It’s Autumn, not spring. My house is up for sale, but it’s six months later than I wanted it to be.
Okay, it’s a year and six months later. Alright, fine two years and six months since I decided to sell.
The two years doesn’t mean much. I did procrastinate, but I also needed the time to come to terms with leaving a house that has been my home for decades. I would alternate from one week to the next, trying to figure out whether I would be happy leaving there or whether I would be happy staying and struggling with the cost of upkeep and mortgage payments.
I spent the two years deciding, but in the end I still sometimes wish I were staying. The two years was needed for me to resolve myself to going, even though I am sometimes still not resolved.
But that six months!
The six months was a mistake. A big one. The stagers packed away al the stuff I wouldn’t need while I was selling the house. If They’d done that in the early spring, I’d have been fine.
But it didn’t happen ’til late summer. My fault, I was still putting things off. But now the house hasn’t sold, and the snow is falling. I have no idea where my winter boots are. I’m stuck wearing a pair that I’m not even sure of the origin of. They don’t look like mine.
Getting away with it
Sometimes things work out. I was going to get Lasic surgery to correct my vision five or six years ago. I was a good candidate. They scanned my eyes, mapped out the changes needed and offered me a reasonable price. I took the quote home and contemplated. I thought about it for a month. Then for another. Soon six months passed. I hadn’t decided against it, but I hadn’t decided to do it either.
Six months became a year, with the same feelings that I’d had at the beginning. I wasn’t afraid of the surgery. I was concerned that I was making a mistake. Maybe I’d look weird to myself without glasses. I’d had them for forty-five years.
And while I put off making that decision, I put off getting my eye examination done and getting new glasses. I put that off even though my glasses were at least two years old when I had my eyes mapped for surgery.
I put that off while I continued to repair my glasses with epoxy and solder. I put it off while my glasses got dimmer and cloudier from scratches and abrasions. I put the surgery decision off under the false reason of contemplation and I put the eye exam and new glasses off under the false reason of not needing new glasses if I got my eyes corrected.
Then my glasses broke in a way I could not really repair. Well, I did repair them, with epoxy to be truthful, but they would not fold when I was done fixing them. I bit the bullet, booked the eye exam and went in to hear about how I should maybe be more consistent with my eye care. I couldn’t disagree. I should be.
And while I talked with my optometrist, I told him that I had been putting off the exam because of the potential surgery. And he told me that the surgery had been discovered to be not a good option for people with problems like mine. That the vision I currently enjoyed would return in a few years post surgery. In fact, if I’d had the surgery when I had first gone to investigate it, I might have been in the very chair I was in at that moment, having my eyes examined and getting a prescription for eye glasses.
The pros and cons
Listen, my cedar strip canoe is out in the snow because I procrastinated. But my eyes are possibly the same as they would have been had I spent the few thousand on getting them supposedly fixed. Some times you win, and some times you lose.
And I’m not saying embrace procrastination. Fight it. I’m saying fight! I’m saying fight it like a mad warrior.
Warriors don’t always win though
But when procrastination wins, when you put things off stupidly, mindlessly, forever, don’t beat yourself up over it.
Sometimes in life, the best things happen. And they may not have if you hadn’t been where and who and what you are at that moment.