Lately I’ve been a little bit tired. And I can’t really say why, to be quite honest. I don’t mean I’m not at liberty to tell you why, I just mean I can’t think why I’m feeling this way.
I do know that since I’ve kind of retired, I’m really busy. But I’m damned if I can remember what all I’ve done.
And I blame this whole thing totally and completely on my ADHD!
Should we be pointing fingers?
You see, as soon as everything was as done as it was going to get with respect to my house, I went into “going to bed” mode. You know what I mean. It’s like when you realize it’s ten o’clock and that’s bed time. You put your pencils down, figuratively, and head for the door. Day is done.
Three hours later, you’re cleaning out the car or whatever, and thinking, “… there’s something I was going to do other than this …”
So what else is new?
Nothing really. I go to bed the same way that I do everything else … eventually. All through my day I start to do things, and get sidetracked by other things I either want to do or that I was already doing and the sight of them reminds me to get back to them.
And yes, without a central focus in my life, like getting my house ready for market, this is much worse. Or maybe I should say it’s much more normal for me?
Is this how I relax?
It almost seems to be. Or maybe I should say that when I relax, this is how I behave.
So I’ve been kind of treating my life like I’m on vacation. And it’s the first vacation I’ve had in years.
Oh, sure, I’ve had day trips and weekends away, even went to Quebec a couple of times for a few days. But this is like a summer vacation. It’s an open ended stretch of time that seems limitless because the other end is up in the air.
My vacation ends when my house sells.
So what do I do?
Well, I relax. And when I relax, my frontal lobe seems to just let go of all the stress and pressure I put on it to perform in a manner more becoming of a neuro-typical individual.
And that’s when I start ADHDing all over the place. And I know it’s bad when the first thing I started to do in the morning is still undone by the end of the day, but I’ve left a trail of things both completed and started but uncompleted in my wake.
I need a weekend off
So I’m thinking I need to take some time to pretend that I am back on the job. Just maybe go around and finish all the little things I’ve started here and there. I need to maybe stop starting new things.
…. but then again, I’m on vacation. Hey, let’s ride bikes, to the store, and buy fishing poles, and a juicer … maybe make paper airplanes? I wonder why I’m so tired?