Can I tell you something? Just between you and I? I can? Good. Well, keep this to yourself, but having ADHD is really weird.
I mean, it isn’t weird on a day to day basis. That part is more … annoying. Yeah, annoying, annoying in a “Holy crap, this having ADHD really sucks and blows big time!” annoying.
‘Cause, you know, there’s all the damned symptoms, and you can’t watch them all, right? So while you’re trying to stay focused, you end up making mistakes. When you’re trying not to make mistakes, you end up procrastinating. When you’re trying not to procrastinate, you end up forgetting stuff and that causes distraction and mistakes and …
Well, why am I telling you this, you know this, right? And if you don’t, then you don’t know ADHD.
But when I say it’s weird, I mean on a large scale.
What’s that all about?
Well, there are weird things about ADHD, things like how so many of us have had such a multitude of occupations. I and my ADHD have retired more times than I can recall. And every time I’ve retired from something and gone looking for something else to do, I have ended up doing something as far away from what I had been doing previously as could be.
For example, I once went from working as a pressman in a printing plant to being a computer programmer.
And then there was …
Although, in truth, sometimes I’d skip the retirement part and just make a lateral move from one career to another within the realm of the education and experience I had.
An example of that was when I did a sudden sunfish flip from computer programmer to computer technician, because I was tired of coding and wanted to work with my hands again.
And still there’s …
There are other ways in which ADHD is weird, the way that we and others don’t recognize the collective symptoms within ourselves until they are gathered together and shown to us is weird, isn’t it?
I mean, how does a person go for fifty years without suspecting anything? Personally, I remember blaming bad luck a lot, thinking my big break was just around the next corner, even rewriting my perspective of the past to align with my idea of what must have gone wrong when things inevitably went wrong. Isn’t that weird? That’s weird.
And let’s add this …
And so many paradoxes to be called to answer for. Unable to focus yet unable to tear ourselves away from some things. Procrastinating on some things and getting others done so quickly. Being able to leave things lying about in cluttered piles, but if they are to be put away they must go where they belong … sort of the bi-polar version of the combination of messiness and OCD.
Oh yes, ADHD is weird. And those of us with ADHD are weird. And while I’d love to leave the ADHD behind, yes I truly would, I wouldn’t want to be less weird than I am.
It’s kind of my trade mark
And I’m good with that.