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More Surprise ADHD Stress

Bug
I have a bug, it looks like this … I think. I don’t draw well.

Remember on Monday I was talking about “out of control?” I said it could be things out of control being hard to deal with when you have ADHD, or it could be things out of control because you have ADHD, or it could be your ADHD out of control?

So on Monday I went to work. At work we’re fishing through the walls of an old house, pulling wire for the electrician, dirty work, and not a one man job. When the wire has to run from the panel in the basement to the attic and then drop down to the receptacles you need at least two people.

And still there’s stairs, and dust, and a lot of yelling.

I spent the weekend just past doing a lot of singing. I sing to live, I work to eat. There’s a difference between eating and living, though it’s hard to define the separation.

And the week before I was not really well, fighting a cold of some sort. I was fighting it with denial I think, I do that sometimes.

Yesterday, while shouting from floor to floor, “More … more … okay pull it back a bit …. okay pull it up slowly …. WHOA!” yesterday, I lost my voice. By last night my chest was getting ragged like rotten cotton and I could feel the fabric of it tearing with each cough. This morning I phoned in sick.

Stress?

My boss, the guy I work for, has been my friend for decades. We work together because we work well together. It is a pleasure to do jobs that we are proud of and we both feel that way.

It’s hard to pull wire when you’re alone. There’s a lot of stairs involved. A lot of going up and down, just to check on things. The work goes much slower and is much harder.

You want stress?

And I’ve left my friend doing this on his own. I feel stress. Trust me, I feel stress.

And there is this thing that comes with ADHD, I don’t like to call it the “feels,” but that’s pretty much what it is. ADHD means I’ve had so much experience screwing up, that I can no longer tell the difference between letting someone down by screwing up, and letting someone down by being unavailable. That is, I can see the difference on the surface, but for some reason they both feel the same.

And stress is not conducive to a healthy recovery

So I’m lying here in bed, coughing up unknown things, and wondering if I might not get better faster … if I were to go crawl around in dusty attics and basements and work under light fixture Oc-box holes and reach into light switch box holes. Not the best environment, but less stress on the job site than my mind is capable of creating for me here at home.

Yes, stress is not conducive to a healthy recovery. And as I said on Monday, stress exacerbates ADHD. What a choice.

More Surprise ADHD Stress


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2016). More Surprise ADHD Stress. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 19, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2016/05/more-surprise-stress/

 

Last updated: 3 May 2016
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.