I’ve been told that I have anger management issues, and I can’t even begin to tell you how ticked off that made me feel.
Apparently some people believe that those of us with ADHD get angry easier and more often than people without.
The truth for me is that I get angry when I’m frustrated. And if I’m frustrated by someone unable to understand that I’m not angry … well, it’s a pointless debate for me to engage in because I can’t win. If I’m right, the frustration will soon leave me angry and then no one will believe I’m not angry, because I no longer am. Not angry, that is.
And what’s more …
Wikipedia says that people with ADHD have difficulty managing anger, which kind of sounds right. But for me, I can be angry one minute and, if left to myself, be completely over it in no time. I can actually be angry and get over it so quickly that no one ever knows I was angry.
But if I’m upset about something and I can’t explain it to the person that is most impacting my mood, and explain it in a fashion that makes them see the sense I’m trying to make, that frustration can animate me into something that looks like anger management issues personified.
Why, of all the …
I am usually thinking to myself at that point that there is no difference between me having “anger management issues” and the other person having “to intellectually bankrupt to see sense issues.”
Perhaps that’s a bit harsh, and yet what frustrates me most is when people are too busy telling me they’re right because they are, to actually listen to the (often plainly obvious) thing that I’m trying to tell them.
And while I am aware that I interrupt people often and that I also often finish their sentences, when I’m trying to explain something to them that they just aren’t getting, why do they always have to interrupt me? Specifically, why do they have to interrupt me just to repeat the wrong thing that they are insisting is right, when I keep telling them it’s wrong.
I ought to just ….
I know this sounds like I think I’m always right and never wrong. The truth is that I’m often wrong, and that makes me doubt myself. But when I’ve already doubted myself and found that doubt to be wrong then it is all the more frustrating to be having to explain something repeatedly to someone who seems intent on being closed minded.
Of course, I’m not often angry, almost never I think. So I really don’t think of it as an issue. And if it is an ADHD trait, then so be it.