So, I’m on holidays. And it’s great. I’m writing my blog, I’m doing little technical things for the online magazine I work for, I’m taking pictures and posting them to social media, and doing more technical things for the online magazine I work for, and writing my blog again, and doing more technical things … well, you get the picture, I’m sure.
I’m also moving back and forth from the lake house where holidays happen, and home, where theoretically holidays don’t happen. That’s because there are work things that need to be done.
So some people, friends on social media, know that I’m supposed to be on holidays, and they know that I’m still working. And someone asked me what would I do if I went on holidays and couldn’t work. And without thinking I replied “Go home.”
As is often the case with ADHD, after the comment is out of my mouth, I start to think about what I’ve said. I’m a stream of consciousness kind of conversationalist. But I do think about what I say … eventually.
So the deal is, when I am on holidays, it’s a break from the responsibilities of my surroundings. But I couldn’t stand it if I had to entertain myself.
Boredom is poison to people with ADHD. If “the devil finds work for idle hands” means that people with nothing to do will get into trouble, than that same devil finds acts of sheer folly and utter stupidity for me.
And I know myself well enough that I try hard to avoid being unemployed, unengaged.
I’ve been doing this for some time, longer than I’ve known I have ADHD. I suspect it is one of my self taught coping strategies. If I have nothing to do, I get out a pen and paper and start putting words down.
Actually, I’ve given up on the pen and paper, I’ve lost too many good ideas to my inability to read my own writing. But I sit myself down at my screen and start putting words into rows and nailing them in place with punctuation.
Before my diagnosis, I amassed a subconscious list of activities that I enjoy doing and that do not get me into trouble directly. That doesn’t mean that I won’t find myself in trouble if I should have been doing something else, but it does mean that the things I do aren’t causing problems.
To kill time and keep me from my rampaging thoughts I used to drink. Now I walk, or write songs, poems or prose. I practice music. I try to say clever things on Facebook or Twitter and sometimes I succeed. I also do odd jobs and sometimes play gigs or MC them.
And I write blog posts and work on that local online magazine. I can always find something to do in those places.
Boredom is the enemy, inappropriate activities are the enemy’s weapons, and my life is the enemy’s target. But I don’t have to go to battle on that enemy’s battlefield. I can keep myself busy elsewhere.
So if someone were to say “Oh, you’re on a ‘working’ holiday.” I’d say “ … is there any other kind?”