What Have I Been Putting Off?
Sometimes thing work out in spite of my ADHD. Not always. Okay, not often. But sometimes …
Last spring I damaged my back. I got the summer off work, which seems like a win, but it wasn’t. No pay and lots of pain. So that wasn’t an example of things working out. Although I did get to spend the August long weekend in historic Quebec. I thought that was good.
Turns out it was 99% good, and 1% bad. I had a great weekend, during which I fell on wet wooden steps and landed on my shoulder … very hard.
My shoulder hurt, bad, but my back was keeping me off work. It took some time to get in to see my doctor, not her fault, she didn’t know my back was bad, I didn’t tell her. When I did it took three days to get in to see her. She gave me a prescription for some serious meds that helped when I took them, but didn’t make my back better. The idea was that while my back was relaxed from the meds, it would heal. She told me if my back didn’t get better, I was to get in touch with her, she didn’t want me to suffer.
So, as per her instructions, when it didn’t get better, I went back. Okay, it took me six weeks, but I did go back. She decided that I needed a more proactive intervention … and sent me to an anesthesiologist to have cortisone injected into my spine.
Did that work?
Boy, did that work. It was late autumn by this time and there was not much left of my work season. I got a few jobs, some wiring and some drywall work and a bit of trucking. To try to make ends meet through the winter I hired myself out doing snow removal, and I learned something important. My shoulder wasn’t better. Not better by a long shot.
It would be fine for a few days, then I’d get work and my shoulder would tell me it was not right. When I wasn’t working, there would be pain only if I extended my arm too high or tried to reach behind my back. That would cause a searing, agonizing pain.
When I worked, the pain would be a constant ache
So, as winter set in with a firmness, I again got in touch with my doctor. She again decided that I needed to see a specialist. This time though, she sent me to an orthopedic surgeon. It took seven weeks to get in to see the surgeon. He decided I have a torn rotator cuff, and he also decided he needed an MRI of my shoulder to determine what would need to be done to repair it.
People with ADHD are not appointment friendly people. I show up late for them, I miss them sometimes, I have enough trouble with them that I tend to put off making them. In a little over two months it will be a year since these problems of mine started.
And of this ten months of injury, the health care personnel who look after me have taken up two months. That means that I have procrastinated for eight months.
I didn’t want to take this long to get well, I didn’t want to waste time, I didn’t want to be unable to function fully. And I can’t say that I have purposely dragged things out. And I always feel like I’ve accomplished something when I move ahead. But clearly I have more progress to make in my life, more progress in the area of dealing with procrastination.
Babcock, K. (2014). What Have I Been Putting Off?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 18, 2017, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2014/03/what-have-i-been-putting-off/