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5 Reasons Why ADHDers Make Better Lovers

Valentine's Day is coming ...
Valentine’s Day is coming …

You know I’m going to forget Valentines Day, right? And your birthday, if there’s no reminders all over the place. Anniversaries? Yeah, I’ve gotten really good at the Hail Mary play. You know, where I come up with something really great at the last minute and save my sorry self from the dog house?

I don’t think I can say that people with ADHD are better lovers because they forget special occasions. Or can I? The fact that we are placed in this situation so often in our lives has possibly made us very good at coming up with romantic plans on short notice. Will we count that as number five? Lets wait and see if we need to.

Here then is my list of reasons why ADHDers are better lovers:

  1. We are creative. Once we have figured out our artistic strengths (and some of us don’t figure that out) we create beauty and we are always happy to share. Sharing beauty is what lovers do.
  2. We are adventurous. We will go the extra mile to do unusual, exciting and fun things to make our dates happy. That’s no little thing when it comes to romance.
  3. Those of us with ADHD are creatures addicted to immediate gratification. That means we want to be happy, now! We want to do things that make us happy, now. And just like most other people, we are happiest when those around us are happy, so we do what we can to make that happen. And we know how to do that.
  4. People with ADHD are funny. That might not seem like much, but in truth, it is a big thing. Happy people make better lovers, unhappy people make better … well they make better unhappy people. But more to the point, if you’re happy, you’re more likely to be receptive to love. People who make other people laugh, help those people feel receptive to romance.
  5. We are … um, well there’s … no, that’s not true. We … ummm … okay, we’ll go with that first one. We’ve had so much practice coming up with last minute plans and gifts that we’ve gotten pretty darned good at it.

So there you have it. If you have ADHD, hold your head up high this Valentines day. If you lack in anything, it is confidence. And you lack that because of years of being judged and found wanting in the realms of focus and persistence. Don’t let those things keep you from realizing how great a companion and friend you can be.

And if you’re reading this because you’re looking for a great friend or lover, you’re looking for someone with ADHD.

I would never lie to you.

5 Reasons Why ADHDers Make Better Lovers

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live on the traditional lands of the Chippewas of Nawash in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or 7 generations and my First Nations friend's families go back hundreds of generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I am a freelance writer and I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about living with ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man

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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2014). 5 Reasons Why ADHDers Make Better Lovers. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 20, 2020, from


Last updated: 11 Feb 2014
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