Sometimes I think that working for a contractor is the best possible job for someone with ADHD. There is structure without routine. There is a set expectation. I know what I’m supposed to do and when. I can do my best work and it is appreciated.
And often, when I go that extra mile or figure out how to make something better or do something more efficiently, that’s appreciated also.
Did I mention I’ve started work for the season? Well, I have.
And there’s more. There’s something about working that I love. I mean working as in having a job. The thing I love about it is the focus that comes with engaging your brain in a task that is judged successful when the time is up for the day. Whether the job itself is finished or not, I’ve put in the day. I go at it with the goal being to get to the end of the day, and I succeed.
I’m not a watch watcher
I’m not lazy. I do the work and I put real effort into it. I don’t shirk. If I’m hurting when the day is done, I know I was working hard enough. And the job itself may end at anytime, but more often than not, when that happens, there is another job to go to.
Who’s the boss here anyway?
I’ve noted the difference between working for someone else and working for myself. It’s too easy to get distracted by details, desires, ambitions. I could be self employed but it would have to be as a contractor. I need an end plan in order to focus. The point of running a business is to maintain a job, keep making work. That seems foreign to me. I work better if I can identify a job, and then eliminate it.
And another thing …
Distraction is my number one enemy. But it seems I’m able to work around that when I work for someone else. For example, when I’m on the job, I might be going to the tool trailer to get a shovel. I don’t pick up a hammer and take it to some other task to quickly do some other thing that then sidetracks me again into another line of thought about three other things … or 33 other things. I get the shovel. I go do the shovelling. I put the shovel back. I move on.
What about the soundtrack?
It sounds boring, but it isn’t. My mind is still whirling around at light speed. There’s still a light and music show going on in there. It just doesn’t get to play with things in the real world, it has to settle for thoughts and plans and schemes. It can’t make me pick up the hammer until it is time for me to pick up the hammer.
What’s it worth to me?
There are times when I think ADHD is made up entirely of poor self esteem and self awareness. If I can treat the jobs my boss gives me with this much respect, why can’t I respect the things I need done for myself enough to just take care of them with focus and dispatch?
Oh well …
But this is a question I can spend some time pondering, while I work, because while I work, my mind will need something to do. It isn’t allowed to play with the hammer.