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Finding Ourselves In A Four Dimensional ADHD Life

Screen Capture from Google Maps, "You are here!"
Screen Capture from Google Maps
“You are here!”

ADHD is not a slice of heaven. Though I’ve had people tell me recently that it is wonderful, I can’t entirely agree.

Dr. Edward Hallowell is fond of saying that we have Ferrari brains with bicycle brakes. I agree wholeheartedly with that analogy. I wouldn’t trade my Ferrari brain for anything. But I’d love to take it for a spin on a closed track with no other traffic around. Someplace where I can let it go until it runs out of gas and coasts ’til it comes to rest. That would be a great day.

But we don’t live on test tracks, we’re here in the real world. And the streets we travel don’t necessarily come back around to where we started from. We live on life’s highways and side streets, crescents and cul de sacs, interstates, logging trails and dead ends. And we need to find our way.

Where did I put that road map?

The truth is, we travel a new road everyday. It may look like the same road, the landmarks all look familiar, but it isn’t.

In fact, maybe roads are the wrong analogy for ADHD life. Roads are two dimensional, our lives are four dimensional.

What four dimensions?

There’s forward & backward, left & right, time, and state of mind.

Forward and backward is the easiest dimension to understand. You’re either making progress or you’re not.

Left and Right is also easy to understand. These directions lead to distraction. But even though that is the case, hidden cleverly among those distractions are important bits of information and potential future destinations. And it’s easy to veer off course to inspect them.

Time is the constantly changing dimension. You get up in the morning and approach the day the same way you did yesterday, but it isn’t yesterday. Things that engrossed your mind yesterday are still occupying your mind, even though today would have new demands of you. You have different appointments, different issues, different people to deal with. This is not the same road you travelled yesterday. This is today’s road.

What are we missing?

State of mind is often  the least noticed dimension … and the more important one.

I can take being distracted, I can stand being a day behind, I can live with being scattered, scared and scarred, so long as I’m aware of why, and how best to deal with it.

And I’ve found the best way to deal with this is to remind myself of my nature, who I am, who I belong to.

Who do I belong to?

And we are okay. Better than okay, we are good. We are different, but we are good.

I belong to you. You are my people. And we are okay. Better than okay, we are good. We are different, but we are good. I am good. You are good. So long as this is my state of mind, I’ll make it.

My ADHD isn’t going away. My methods of dealing with life may change. Things may get better or worse depending on circumstance. But knowing I’m okay, knowing I belong, that makes all the difference to whether or not I’m a success.

 

Finding Ourselves In A Four Dimensional ADHD Life

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2013). Finding Ourselves In A Four Dimensional ADHD Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 20, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2013/04/finding-ourselves-in-a-four-dimensional-adhd-life/

 

Last updated: 7 Apr 2013
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Apr 2013
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.