There's never enough time!

There's never enough time!

If you have ADHD you know what distraction is. And you know what it is to be overwhelmed.

You know that you can make plans and have things all figured out, but you can’t ever see them through because of the laundry list of things that you didn’t account for.

And when it all piles up in a collision of eight lane, toll road proportion, that’s when you start noticing the little things that need to be taken care of also.

The worst part is, you have usually made the extra effort to plan and arrange so that you could enjoy some leisure, some extra time with family and friends. Now, when it’s all falling down around your ears, you have to add guilt.

The cause of the disruption in a life already disorganized was that you tried to organize it for less than altruistic purposes.

The setup

This past week I wanted to:

  • get my work done (a bathroom renovation on a cottage that deserves a lot of help …)
  • keep up my blog posts
  • spend an evening (Thursday) with my family
  • spend an evening with a friend (Friday)
  • take care of some errands (Saturday)
  • go to a party/concert where clients of mine were playing (Saturday evening)
  • get a start on my blog posts for next week
  • take care of all the other things that need doing on a daily basis

An ambitious list, truly, but not too ambitious … right? The work part was easy. Well, maybe not easy work, but doing it was not a scheduling problem. I just went to work when I was supposed to and worked ’til quitting time.

But that wasn’t all there was …

I was doing okay with my blog, until I went to write Friday’s post on Wednesday evening after work, and realized that I couldn’t stay awake. No problem, I thought. I’ll polish it on Thursday morning and schedule it for Friday. I slept a bit late on Thursday, the internet was unreliable that morning where I work and am staying through the week, and the post had more needs than I had realized.

Shall I go on? Of course I shall

I was prepared to work on it on Thursday evening after going to my family’s to say farewell to my niece as she left for the west coast. But my exhaustion was not going to let me do that.

The family gathering was 15 minutes from my home, and rather than returning to the camp where I work I went home that night.

Friday morning dawned clear and cool, and I was rested and ready … but I was an hour and a quarter away from work and had to spend my pre-work time commuting. Friday morning was not going to see me posting Friday’s post. I spent the morning in anxiety over this, but when the afternoon rolled around I was at the “It’s too late to do anything about it!” stage of the game.

So where did I go wrong?

I dunno, I have ADHD. I have poor self-awareness, a poor sense of time and of the time required for completion of tasks. I have issues in prioritizing things.

And, apparently, I have the ability to not see the train coming until I’m caught between the flashing lights and barriers, dead on the tracks with my seat belt stuck!!!

Okay, that was a little dramatic, maybe, but that’s the way it feels when it keeps happening again and again.

And all this?

And yes, this whole post was written as an excuse, a preamble to what you should be reading, my apology. I missed posting on Friday. I’m sorry. You deserve better. But frankly, the only way things like this are less likely to happen is if you get someone who doesn’t have ADHD to write a blog … and what would that blog be about?

And I’ve learned enough this past week not to promise you that it won’t happen again. But I will say that I’ll try not to let it happen again … sorry.