Me and my new friend, Melanie, contemplating friendship

Me and my new friend, Melanie, contemplating friendship

Humans are social animals. With rare exceptions, we seek out society and insinuate ourselves.

ADHDers are no different. Some of us could be considered overly social; we are larger than life, bold and boisterous, gregarious, outgoing and lively.

And, as I mentioned on Wednesday, we may occasionally open our mouths and say the wrong thing.

This may result in chilly social situations, or it could cost us even more. One of my worst conversational traits is my willingness to sacrifice sense for a good laugh. I’ll say the nastiest thing if I think it’s funny enough to entertain. On more than one occasion, this has cost me a friend.

How to win friends and … well that’s about all

Over the first fifty years of my life I had come to the conclusion that friendship was something that would come and go. I assumed that my friends would just cycle through. Typically, I would meet someone, impress them with my witty repartee, become fast friends, say the wrong thing and bid them adieu. By then I would, of course, have a replacement friend. I’d grieve a little, and move on.

A new approach

In the second fifty years of my life I’m trying something different. Since my diagnosis, I’ve been trying to forewarn people of my, shall we say … shortcomings, if it looks like there is potential for longevity in a friendship.

It’s early days …

I’ve only been in my second fifty years for three years now, I’m not really ready to gauge my success. But I’m not having a lot of luck just trying to pay attention.

About three weeks ago, however, a truly new approach to friendship just sort of happened. I met an amazing woman who travels in my circle, she knows people that I know in the creative community in our town. And we decided, after talking for a bit, that we should be friends.

If you’re going to do it, do it right

We also decided that if we were going to be friends, we were going to do it right. We’re going to be the best friends we can be. We’re going to have each others backs, stick up for each other, support each others projects and endeavours. We’re going to be friends for the long haul. And we’re going to accept each others quirks, talk over problems and resolve issues.

This one is worth working on …

So far, so good. In fact, so far, so great, although I don’t know if this would work for just any two people. And since it’s only been three weeks I have to admit that I don’t know if it will work in this instance, but I really want it to.

So, this isn’t a rerun, this isn’t anything like my  previous friendships, it’s a brand new day. Wish us luck, won’t you? I don’t know anyone who needs fewer friends.