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ADHD, It’s About Time!

It's about time ...
It's about time ...

“I remember that movie,” my boss said, “how did it start? I missed the beginning of it … ”

I looked at her, she looked at me, and we laughed.

How did I get here?

It’s been an unusual progression. My marriage afforded me with an executive function, my wife’s. This meant that I always had things to do. After her passing, I was left at loose ends, as they say.

I ended up helping out at a local café in exchange for a place to write and hang out in the day.

Skills help …

Helping out entailed maintenance and repairs, I’m a handyman along with having a couple dozen other skills acquired over my half century of wandering attention.

Pitching in, literally

Before long I was busing tables and serving food as a fill in when things were busy. That was okay, I’d been eating for less than I should have been paying and those who know me I’m sure will not be surprised that the café goes through more coffee than it sells.

As of this week just past, I’ve added fill-in dishwasher to my repertoire, a paid position with spontaneous and irregular hours. How very much like me.

My boss gets no respect!

So it’s no surprise that, although I just started work as a real employee, I’m on joking terms with the café owner, a friend I affectionately refer to as “Bareeesta” (you have to give it a bit of a Latin accent). And I can laugh at her obvious foibles, she is newer to the ADHD label than I am.

When she said that she’d seen a certain movie but couldn’t remember how it started, we both laughed at her because we knew why. She’d been late. Not being on time is not something I suffer from, but it is something I understand, and it is something she suffers from. A lot!

I should be paid for being a waiter …

We have had occasion to attend different events in our community together and it makes sense for us to car pool. But invariably she is late and I am anxious. I’ve only told her the wrong, accelerated time once and that worked out well for time management, but I’m too honest and confessed the ruse. The scam made me feel unwell and I’ve never done it since.

She knows I hate to be late as much as she hates to be rushed. And I think that these two seemingly opposing hatreds are caused by the same thing. We have been victimized in our past for our tardiness.

The results are different, but the cause is the same. In her case, she has become reactive, defensive. In my case I’ve developed my anxiety into a means of internal pressure, hurrying me on and reducing distractions.

Meanwhile, back at the café …

We laughed again when I said “I wonder how many ADHDers out there have missed the beginning of everything they’ve attended?” But the last laugh was on us, though we were still the ones laughing.

He who laughs last, laughs best

We were hurrying to get the café cleaned up for closing and make our way out the door. We were on our way to attend a monthly gathering of artists who perform in our community. Musicians, poets and spoken word artists organize and attend an open mic night, known locally as “Sounds, Words and Music.” In short, our people.

Unusual as it seems (she is my boss) I sent her on ahead and stayed behind to finish off a couple of loads of dishes and to lock up. She arrived on time, I was late. But that’s not the funny part. It seems that there is a larger percentage of our people in this group, these artists and creative personalities … the thing started – 15 minutes late as usual. I shouldn’t have worried so much.

ADHD, It’s About Time!


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2012). ADHD, It’s About Time!. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 18, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2012/04/1370/

 

Last updated: 16 Apr 2012
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.