17 thoughts on “How To Help The Addict Who Doesn’t Want Help

  • September 5, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    How can I help someone that does not want to go to rehab even though he desperately need it. He has no insurance and I’m afraid he is gonna overdose if he doesn’t. I have talked to him so much about it but I can’t get thru to him. Please help me. I am in Warminster Pennsylvania!

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    • September 12, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      I encourage you to call the Al-Anon hotline at 1-888-4AL-ANON to find the meeting closest to you. There you’ll find others who are walking in your shoes and able to offer support. In the meantime, keep talking to your loved one and let him know you are ready to assist him in seeking help at a moment’s notice – but you won’t be enabling his substance use. An intervention can be effective for some in getting the message across.

      Also, be sure he understands that there are options even for those without insurance: Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings are free; many private treatment facilities provide payment plans and sliding scales; and states offer free services, although these can come with waiting lists. Call the Pennsylvania Office of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services at 877-356-5355 for information on what’s available in your area. Good luck!

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  • January 31, 2015 at 11:58 am

    does a recovering addict need to have control of his money and finances,or does he need to let wife, mother or whoever he trust take control of his pocket money and finances?

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    • July 18, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      a penny in the hand is drugs in the face

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  • May 16, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    How do I help an addict that is in denial about using? He is in chronic pain he has permanent hip and back damage that requires surgery but will no longer be able to work after it. He continues to abuse pain killers but is buying them instead of being treated by a doctor. The lying of whereabouts and why he needs money is starting to get out of control. Financially we are good, but it’s gotten progressively worse, now his addictions is costing us over $450 a week. When I have confronted him about it he denies it and picks a fight w 2 small children at home I don’t want to see them loose their father. How can I approach him if he’s denying this? How do I get him to see a doctor and get help?

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  • November 23, 2015 at 3:13 am

    I have a 58 year old son who is an addict and alcoholic. He is in a motel in Salem,MO.at the present time drinking himself too death and plans on staying there till he does. I begged him yesterday not to do this and he said get over it.He is not the guy he used to be and he refuses to do anything about it. Said he was in rehab 2 or 3 times before and it didn’t work and he isn’t going back. I am so scared for him. It’s all I can think about for the past 2 days. He has turned his phone off too.I alerted the police down there and they can check on him,but if he isn’t bothering anyone they can’t do anything. I am at a loss as to what to do. I am 75 years old and this is a 2 and a half hour drive for me and I don’t know if it would do any good for me to make the trip.

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    • November 29, 2015 at 12:48 pm

      Sharon,

      There are, sadly, no easy answers, and the ultimate decision about the best way to help your son must be your own. But I do encourage you to contact Al-Anon. It’s a support group for those who are going through similar struggles with addicted loved ones, and it can be an invaluable source of emotional help and information. The hotline number is 1-888-4AL-ANON or you can visit al-anon.org.

      In tough situations such as this, an intervention can sometimes prove to be a way to get through to a loved one and convince them to reach out for the help they need. Do you have family or friends you can turn to who have an emotional connection to your son and could assist you in talking to him? A professional interventionist can also be invaluable. Most addiction treatment centers can put you in contact with such a person or you can visit the Association of Intervention Specialists.

      If you are able to talk to your son, some points worth emphasizing are:

      • Many, many stories of ultimate success in overcoming addiction include relapse — sometimes multiple relapses. Addiction is complex and it changes the brain, meaning recovery takes time and sustained effort. But it IS possible. Just ask the 23 million people in successful recovery in the U.S.
      • The inability to stop using a substance can leave the addicted person feeling full of self-loathing and unworthy of help. Remind your son that he is dealing with an illness, and that he deserves to recover just as much as someone with heart disease or cancer deserves to recover.

      Crucially, don’t forget about your own emotional and physical health at this difficult time, and let others know you need their support. Good luck!

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      • June 6, 2016 at 4:58 am

        Heroin addiction can end up a blessing. Please never give up and never leave them to just die. My story was I was a functioning addict for 10 years, but after giving up the ghost after 2 of my girls under ten bad been diabolically molested for 2 years while I worked 2 jobs, missing the very thing I had gone through from 13 to 16 I got ANGRY with God and blamed him and spiraled into a drunken, pill popping daze. My domestic violence husband flew to Japan. I had 2 heart attacks, 4 stents, Addison’s disease, thyroid removed, crippling arthritis, high blood pressure, graves disease and about 15 other maladies. I was on 30 scripts. A former Model, Fitness Instructor, Real Estate Agent, 6 Insurance licenses, and spent 4 years teaching English in Japan I was unrecognizable and dying, unable to walk or put words together, confined to my bed, having daily seizures. In hospital emergency at least once a week. I was so ashamed of myself and my kids were leaving me one by one. They were planning my funeral. The 4 left me and I knew I had failed them, but even as hard as I tried to quit I just didn’t feel worth anything. 2 months later as my baby graduated and I saw the other sad but brave grown girls something inside me shouted GOD PLEASE JUST GIVE ME 1 MORE CHANCE. I guess I saw in my beautuful girls, what I had, but really didn’t have that spanked my heart. The next 6 months I went on a rampage, walking 1 step then 10 etc, eating healthy, praying still mad at God. 6 months later when my artistically inclined daughter asked to be picked up at 4 in the morning she didn’t recognize me. I was the picture of health. Now I knew she was in big trouble. She was only 20 and had a BAD Drug addiction. Within a month she had pawned most of my things. Flipped her Jeep intentionally, downed a bottle of Tylenol, coked out with some dude 2 weeks straight to die. Hospital those 4 visits told us to go to the hospitals on the other side. SAD TO EVER JUDGE! I MADE MY MIND UP TO CONTINUALLY BE IN HER PRESENCE EVEN WHEN SHE PEED OR LEFT HOUSE. I knew she barely trusted me and felt desperate and alone as I had. I even slept with her. Now I walked into her room to see her with a needle and heroin in her arm. WOW I was scared, but I knew she felt like a loser with no hope, so I quickly without thinking put my arm out and said if you have to go through this IT only be with me. Craziness just seemed right at this moment. She was shocked and surprised also sad. But I just held her and told her I love you that much, now that I am just as low as you can we kick it together? I read all the medical information and found out (and believe me I have not seen this possessed demonic spirit) she saw the devil every night reaching his black and blue hands out to her every night for months. She would wake up screaming nightly. So for the next year I stayed awake praying, rebuking Satan and telling him be may not have my daughter in the name of Jesus Christ. We were using daily and only left her room to pick up and get clean needles. I just quoted her the Bible and little stories that could get her to want to come back. I made sure she didn’t overdose. Kept TV on TBN and would tell her God created us not as normal brained as others, but more like wild, rebellious Donkeys wbo feared nothing. Soon she woke up crying with joy that 2nd year saying God came to her in a dream and he told her everything she/we would be going through. She said we must be prepared to be warriors for him in this last generation. She said we must go to the broken, hopeless, homeless, Imprisoned and all who are stuck in bondage by addictions and afflictions. She told me we must sell or give away all eartly possess ions. She told me some big things we must be involved with that would be terrifieng. She then told me how we must get in our car and travel two by two, like the apostles did, all over the US and that we were to also scour the East coast. Well I obeyed and we did all of that. We are sober going on a year and have not been even a little tempted. God always knows the blessing while we are so busy trying to figure out the problem. I guess the moral of the story is we now KNOW assuredly that God is the answer. And be thinks we are perfect.

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      • August 23, 2018 at 8:39 pm

        wow that is a great story.. how are you both doing? Thanks for sharing… If you read this, please pray for my friend, whom I mentor and am like a mom to him, his name is Victor and he finally made it to treatment after 2 years of working with him. Well the treatment was supposed to last a year and he left after 3 months and 8 days. it was a christian rehab called Teen Challenge, in London, Ontario Canada. He learned a lot about God but he has gone back to drinking and soft drugs again. I am scared that he will kill himself mistakenly by drinking the hard liquor (he drinks it straight when he is so drunk, and blacks out, he doesn’t remember that he drinks it straight from the bottle. He has cirrhosis of the liver and he’s only 30. He needs an encounter with Jesus Christ and a real revelation of how much God loves him. Thank you for your prayers.

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  • December 22, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Hi.thank you very much for this post. I have a childhood friend whom I love so dearly. I was informed today that he is now a SA. I’m so devastated. I feel I caused it cuz I didn’t speak to him for years. I’m so sad. I stay in Nigeria. West Africa , where everything is so different and difficult. Checked online for rehabs , saw none. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if it’s okay to start talking to him now. Please advise me and if you know any agency I can report to. Please I beg you. Keeping my fingers crossed hope you assist me. I intend to get his whereabouts tomorrow. God bless

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  • January 6, 2016 at 10:31 pm

    Opiate Awareness Institute understands the level of difficulty maintaining sobriety after detoxing and remedial treatment. Returning to where the addiction began, where so many “triggers” await, often leads to relapse. When one does what they have always done, they will generally get what they have always gotten.

    OAI has 4 openings per 3 month semester for recently clean candidates aboard our 91 foot ex-coast guard cutter, “Awareness Won”, where we explore for sunken treasure in the Caribbean. This exciting adventure includes hookah snorkeling, marine archaeology, supervised island adventures, and a whole lot more. And, there is the real opportunity to discover sunken treasure… we do know what we are doing.

    Contact Capt’n Ron @ rhayward@opiateawareness.org for more information and criteria for participation. Offers like this don’t get any more limited, but if your son or daughter goes on this adventure, you will not likely have to worry about relapse… once a part of this world, there’s no drug that can compare.

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  • June 27, 2016 at 1:07 am

    My relative is addicted to prescribed opiates. She distanced herself from loved ones for years. She is now 59 and is still in denial. She goes without bathing for months but more alarming is that for the last couple months she has memory loss, complete black outs where loses days, she drove into ravine not knowing how got there. Yesterday she thought her son’s room was the bathroom. Can pain meds(Norco) cause a person to behave this bizarre way or is it beginning stages of Alzheimer’s disease?

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  • July 18, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    you cannot help a drug addict who doesnt want help.if this person has become a demented,perverted ,filthy ,lying ,theiving,discusting,back stabbing,scourge of society,a sickening creep,who only lives to ingest drugs,never works or contributes ANYTHING EVER,collects his or her free welfare check at everybodys expense,spends it all on dope ,yet still manages to scam, theive ,rob ,pilfer,smash car windows for spare change,beg for cash at every street corner,steal your bike,your tools,your wallet,kick the walker out from under a senior citezen to grab there purse as they hit the ground,and then hand $300.00 a day to there dealer as they cry the blues over not being able to pay rent or feed themselves.GO TO HELL FUCK YOU.wash your hands of this idiot NOW!!! exnay them from your life, do yourself a favour..

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  • September 18, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    How do I help someone who doesn’t know how bad she is and doesn’t care, she’s a mother and her kids are suffering DCF is involved for other reasons but has no clue how bad it is, she’s an acholic that will do any drug she gets a hold of, in the last few months she’s sslipping away fast and everyone in her life are addicts. I am not involved in her life anymore had to walk away but I am completely worried about her and her children which are headed down the same road they all need rehab

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  • February 8, 2017 at 1:44 am

    My son has ptsd and is now 18 and found heroine. I need help. doI force him to detox and get mental help. Or do I what for him to find rock bottom. And ask for help.

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  • February 9, 2017 at 8:05 pm

    Alanon or AAA? Haha, what a joke! They teach/imbed the thought of “once an addict, always an addict” which ENABLES the addict!!! I have been to NUMEROUS meetings with a sibling, and walked out TOTALLY DISGUSTED!! Addiction is a MENTAL illness which needs to be TREATED as any other CRIPPLING metal disorder such as jumping or cutting…WHY did they turned to drugs in the first place? Molestation, PTSD, Abuse of ANY kind, divorce, loss of a loved one or job. Alanon or AAA CANNOT help these people!! Psychologists want to be paid way, way too much and state funded facilities are a joke because the states don’t want to pay for REAL treatment. I have watched a siblings steady decline for 17 years, 2 rehabs & jail. The families cannot afford the pricetag of a REAL psychologist, so we wait for death, but HOPE and PRAY for the best…Now i ask you Mr Psychologist, how can YOU,YOU help these people???? How much do YOU charge per hour or HALF hour & what is your success rate? Don’t even try to give me/us another AAA or Alanon reply, save it…give us some REAL meat & potatoes. Anxiously awaiting..

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  • June 4, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    My husband is a sex(porn)/meth addict. Every single thing I have read on symptoms (both on physical effects and personality changes)on both addictions have described my husband. In fact he scores no lower than 9 out of 10 signs. He has had a hidden sex addiction before we got together but I had no idea how bad it was. Having ED issues, we started watching porn together to help him get arroused. It got out of control very fast. He was on his phone surfing porn every second he could. The ED problem got alot worse. We found natural pills from Planet Earth store which helped him with maintaining his erection but he still could achieve orgasm. Everyday he was taking 2 hours or longer to come home from work (its 11 miles away). He drives around dirt secluded back roads to watch porn and masturbate. Then lies (ALOT) to cover it up. About 2 years ago he started using meth too. His main “trigger” is his anger at me. He blows up over little stuff (saying very hurtful things) so he can leave to indulge in his porn and meth. He has sent me on errands to get me out of the house so he can be alone. He is a totally different person and hurting me is normal to him now. He is isolating himself and me from all social interactions. He is distant and secretive and accuses me of going thru his things. I have tried to talk to him and even sent him info on it to his phone. He gets very defensive and angry and denies and lies when I even mention it and turns it back at me. I am emotionally drained and I cry everyday (more sometimes). We live in Wisconsin and there are very very few treatment centers (none within 60 miles or more from us). The meth and herion use is out of control in most of the towns around our area. If I could only get him to see what this addiction is doing to him, me and our marriage, he may want to stop or at least talk about it. I am in desparate need of ideas to help.

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