7 thoughts on “Addiction and Adoption Trauma: A Loss of Trust

  • October 17, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    It’s not just the adoptees that feel torn. The birth mothers often love their baby so much they want to offer them a better life than they can offer. Since open adoption is fairly new in this country, many of these often very young mothers are left with big set of emotional baggage that is socially unacceptable to talk about. Seeking relief leads to addiction.

    Reply
    • October 17, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      Marz, that’s a good point to include the parent’s perspective as well. It’s true, there can be significant emotional conflict and pain surrounding the adoption … and as we know, unhealed pain contributes mightily to addiction. Thank you for reading and for commenting!

      Reply
  • October 23, 2017 at 2:04 am

    So as a foster child, I thought adopted children had an edge, in that the families that made a legal and life commitment to a child were wanted and loved.

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    • October 23, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      Thank you for commenting, foster kid; you make a good point that the experience of adoption can be very affirming for a child, particularly one who has been in foster care.

      Reply
  • October 23, 2017 at 2:11 am

    In addition, getting records after finding a natural sister after so many years, I was so angry for finding my natural parents faced more racism and marginalization resulting in poverty, than any issue of violence of them towards us. They were addicted: they did not have us in their thoughts, but they did us no harm except to forget us during their pain in not being accepted for work, for housing, for general acceptance as persons.

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    • October 23, 2017 at 2:56 pm

      What a difficult experience your parents had, foster kid; I’m sorry. How powerful that you were able to come to a place of realization that your parents’ addictions and inability to care for you had nothing to do with your innate value, but rather with their own struggles.

      Reply
  • June 5, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    Foster Kid, I am sorry for your painful experience. It sounds excruciating. Many people do believe that adopted kids are blessed. However, that’s not necessarily the case. Many children who were adopted suffer from mental, verbal, physical, and/or sexual abuse–in addition to being ripped from their biological family. The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

    Reply
 

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