Last weekend, a formerly-unknown jazz musician became a worldwide Twitter trend: Esperanza Spalding.

… I know.

I had never heard of her either prior to the Grammys. It was only after I’d caught up with all my celebrity gossip (university life can delay certain priorities) that I realized Justin Bieber, for once, actually got overthrown in the Twitterverse post-red carpet. Of course, there are quite a few ‘Beliebers’ running around saying some nasty things about Esperanza. Which makes me think: do underdogs ever truly win?

Taking account of both physical and emotional considerations, I’m more inclined to say no. Most political and awards settings (even for the youth in cases of student elections and school accolades) seem to have a front-runner, and to be up against such competition can be extremely stressful due to social anticipation. Even if the most unexpected candidate ends up winning, he or she are predisposed to much judgment.

Think about Kris Allen on Season 8 of American Idol. Throughout the year, many thought Adam Lambert was set for the crown and after the surprise results, arguments erupted online over whether or not Kris even had the musical talent. To be criticized so publicly despite winning the title must have evoked rather mixed feelings and that in itself could be damaging to personal morale.

However, not everyone necessarily thinks that way. Being able to overcome others’ expectations can be nice too. I recall one Sports Day back in high school when I was pitted against the best athletes in my year group for the high jump event. Nobody expected me to win anything given my (very obvious) disadvantage in height, and I knew my own friends had already prepared their “good effort” speeches even before the day started. Somehow, I managed to take home a shiny medal and that was all that mattered—defying the odds.

(Then again, getting all the awkward applause that was given out of shock did make me feel pretty unpleasant. Ah, well. Expectations.)

The interesting thing is, at least for the younger generations, there seems to be no sign of a cultural difference effect. Perhaps it’s to do with the universal level of academic stress then? The week before Christmas in North America usually sees an increase in anxiety as the last of semester finals take place. In the U.K., the winter holiday means nothing short of merely an extended study break during which students such as yours truly scramble to finish multiple assessed essays for a term-start deadline.

And civilized Asian states, with a majority holding significant focus on education, typically send their youth home with a pile of holiday homework that appears impossible to complete. Let’s not forget about college/internship/graduate school/job applications too. Heck, just writing this paragraph makes even myself anxious (quite literally too; I can feel the acid in my stomach rising up.).

Split season obviously doesn’t come lightly either. I came across an article in the paper earlier about a 16-year-old boy in Hong Kong who jumped out of his girlfriend’s apartment window to his death after she proposed they break up. To know that an obstacle in one’s love life could lead to such tragic ends is pretty concerning stuff, and the fact that it could happen to anyone you know at any point in time makes it all the more personal.

Therefore, as a young adult who has yet to enter her first relationship, I’m curious: why do people split right before holidays? I can’t imagine the real reason is really to do with avoiding gift-buying … right?

Feel free to discuss what you think in the comments below. Could peer influence also be an explanation? What about the Hollywood effect?

Some are more inclined to meet new people and focus on improving their social lives. Some are more determined to do their best in academics. Others are left feeling incredibly anxious about how the next three to four years of their lives will go.

Then all of a sudden, graduation is almost here and everyone can only think on the same line: what am I going to do with my life next?

I’m one of the hundreds of thousands students waiting to enter the “real world” in a few months. That means for the past month since I have been back on campus, it’s been a fun (sarcastically speaking) ride of filling out applications and sending in cover letters and CVs—all while attending lectures, doing extracurricular activities and keeping up with my friends.

Yes, the stress of being a college finalist can be high. You can’t help but wonder if any grad schools or companies would take you in. The future seems even bleak sometimes. I definitely feel that way. I always seem to worry about whether or not there’s a place for me in society after I leave the protective bubble of university, especially since I’ve already had about ten changes in career decisions since high school. I wanted to be everything from a research psychologist (ha, thirteen-year-old self, you make me laugh) to an Oscar-winning screenwriter, and yet I have now chosen to attempt breaking into advertising.

Indecision: I’m doing it right.

Eh, life’s not fair sometimes. There could be people around you who have already secured jobs (sigh, e.g. the girl in my dormitory hall whose name I, for the life of me, cannot remember) while you are still on the prowl for the perfect sector to work in, and your hopelessness may just go up being around them.

But stressing gets you nowhere. It could even make you perform worse in interviews and blank out during exams. The key solution is to map out your priorities. I personally find updating my calendar with deadlines and reminders to be super effective, as it makes me aware of where I need to be.

And when it all gets too much, just sleep on it. Studies (and personal experience) have shown that without sleep, you’re likely to impair your memory more, and feel too lethargic to let the real you shine through. True fact.

(By the way, coffee does not make things better. Everyone knows it will just increase your anxiety. Funny story: I had coffee before an A Level exam once, thinking it would wake me up from pulling an all-nighter before, and ended up shaking throughout the two hours. Not cool.)

To many of my peers, September means only one thing: back-to-school season. In just five (and a half, to be fair) days, I will be jetting back to England for yet another year of university—my last one, actually. But all I can think of is how much life is going to, for lack of a better word, suck again being away from home.

Returning to a fresh academic year from a blissful summer holiday is never easy. Just ask about any student. The pressure of impending deadlines right after some rejuvenating R&R in the Bahamas (or wherever floats your boat) may seem even greater than that of exams period, especially to someone who hasn’t had the best of luck in her studies the past two years such as yours truly. I’m telling the truth when I say I’ve already booked to see my school counselor despite not even being back on campus. The anxiety is uncontrollable.

What’s more is, like many others my age, I spent the summer doing an internship and didn’t really get to rest much. Sometimes I wonder if this is a bad thing. Would it mean I would have absolutely no energy left when lessons begin again? Or would it mean my mentality would already be prepped for finishing school deadlines because I’m already so used to the work stress?

Either way, my worries don’t stop just there. I find myself succumbing to the fear of failure more often than not these days because I am now entering my final year of college. Questions like “What if I don’t graduate?” and “What if I end up without a job and penniless?” repeatedly flood my mind despite the fact that I’m most probably going to be okay. My folks, unlike the usual stereotypical Asian parents, have never pressured me to get the top grades or anything, but I end up giving myself a hard time anyway.

And I have good reason to. I admit to having failed maybe two units of my degree during the past two years I have been at university. (Shh!) It’s not that I don’t study; I’m just simply not very good (I’m underplaying my level of incompetence already) at figuring out statistical concepts. I get by with strong essay skills, but when it comes to the bigger, more worthy assignments like end-of-year projects, I am an absolute disaster.

You might think I’m over-sharing, but there is a point I’m trying to make. A lot of college-age teens suffer from some form of school-related anxiety unbeknownst to their family and friends because they feel like they cannot afford to deface their reputations. But think again.

I’ve come to realize nobody is ever alone. A fault or two on tests does not necessarily mean your future is ruined because a piece of paper cannot prove your inner ambitions and determination. Exhibit A: me. I haven’t been the strongest link in my game for quite some time, yet now that I’m reflecting on my resume, I’ve noticed I seem to do okay with getting respected internships and jobs. I’m not even talking from the point of view of someone who “had it better” in the past—I’m speaking as someone from the modern generation, facing the same economical risks as the next young adult. As long as you believe in your strengths and don’t give up on your weaknesses, you will most definitely do fine in life.

All you got to do is have faith.

(Feel free to share your worst college nightmares in the comments below!)

Remember the days of “Leo-mania,” when all the girls (myself excluded) lined up at the cinemas to watch Titanic for the fifth time, just to see their idol Leonardo “King of the World” DiCaprio romance Kate Winslet on the silver screen? Remember how females of all ages wanted their very own Lloyd Dobbler after a young John Cusack stole hearts with his infamous boombox scene in Say Anything?

Remember when Alec Baldwin was hailed as a sex symbol rather than the world’s worst father? (Never mind. Let’s not go there.)

Adoration for the stars is a never-ending sensation amongst younger generations regardless of time. The only difference now from the past is that the queues have become longer and more in the form of a stampede outside Madison Square Garden, awaiting the appearance of teen idol Justin Bieber. A 16-year-old probably wouldn’t have attracted as much attention as Bieber back in the day. (Honorable mentions: Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, the whole vampire craze.) I daresay celebrity obsession has become a bigger phenomenon in the last decade.

Thanks to the interwebs, the world now has 24/7 access to entertainment information. It certainly doesn’t help that social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook encourage fans to “get close” with celebs nowadays. Having the slightest chance to talk to your favorite public figure can be a thrilling thought indeed, especially if that particular person is known to be responsive. (See: John Mayer and Ashton Kutcher.)

Do you think media obsession is a problem today? Why or why not? Even better, do you have your own celebrity crush?
Now, if you will excuse me, this blogger is going to return to Googling images of her latest dreamboat, Ken Watanabe.

Allow me to start off with a personal experience. Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with a pretty severe depressive anxiety disorder. I would break into tears at the most random times and sweat about the tiniest things. I lost interest in many things I normally liked doing. I barely walked outside the confines of the dorm. My condition got so bad during the finals period, I contemplated packing my bags up and just leave without finishing my second year of college.

The problem perhaps stemmed from a range of issues including the fact that I was terribly homesick. Yes, homesickness can be underrated sometimes. I’m sure many international students share the same view as me, but at the time, I was so ashamed about not being able to keep myself in check I nearly failed to tell even my closest friends how I had been feeling. Luckily, I did.

In response, a flatmate helped me deal with my loneliness while I was fighting exams by constantly keeping me company, while two others whisked me off on a trip far away from campus as soon as term ended. Peers can be a great buffer for times of trouble, and I will always be grateful for those who lent a hand; had I kept my depression a secret, I doubt I would have survived past it. However, not only friends can work wonders.

A common myth amongst my generation is that it’s best to keep your loved ones in the dark to avoid worrying them. I beg to differ in opinion. I had kept my family well-informed of the situation, and every day my parents would call to see how I was doing (I still feel guilty about the ridiculous overseas phone bills we received in the aftermath). An aunt, who works as a school counselor in Hong Kong, served as my part-time shrink whenever I was unable to see my real one at the university. I had a lot of support from home despite being thousands of miles away from it. It’s hard to imagine how things might have been without familial help—I can only guess that my parents and relatives would have been ten times as worried if they had found out too late.

Every individual has his or her unique way of coping. I take my emotions to blogging (although I’ve come to realize there is an unspoken but expected limit to what you should write online) and writing stories, while others throw themselves into work or constant partying. There are a selected few who might resort to even more concerning means: News headlines declare an unhealthily frequency of teen suicides and accidental deaths from drug overdose. There was even a tragic case reported by Hong Kong media recently about a 15-year-old boy who killed both his mother and young sister in an act of depressive rage. Does this mean today’s youth is less able to deal with stressful situations?

I can’t answer that question. It would simply be unfair and politically incorrect to say yes, given how everyone has different reasons for feeling the way they do. Perhaps one should consider the availability of needs these days compared to that of past years. Maybe dissatisfaction is easier to induce today than before and therefore, causes more anxiety?

Think about it. In the majority of developed countries, university education is now technically a life standard. Young people compete to at least complete that particular stage and most can’t even bear the thought of otherwise. Quick re-wind to their parents’ era of adolescence: Tertiary schooling was considered a luxury and many got by living successfully without a college degree. The weights of importance cannot be compared, which is why I always find it odd whenever someone mentions his or her aspiration to “live up to the folks”.

(Honorable mention: A lot of young people are spoiled and used to getting what they want. Newsflash!)

Simply put, as time passes, the causes of stress evolve. You can never really blame yourself fully for feeling nervous, worried or upset because this negativity is one of the many reflections from your environment. You’re never really alone. You certainly will never solve anything by harming yourself or others. So for all those who are going through some sort of trouble, think about who you can talk to and how you can get through the problem at hand. And don’t just turn your discontent into envy for someone who appears to be better off—the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Take it easy, and hakuna matata.

(Readers: How do you personally deal with stress and anxiety? Got any insightful stories to share about yourself or someone you know?)

Perhaps this is a slightly more common scenario in the Western or European societies. However, I live in Hong Kong; a city that is rather famous for its busy, chaotic nature. Locals barely have time to tend to themselves because of work, let alone others. Simply put, nobody pays attention to those in need. Which was perhaps why in the current case, upon receiving the meal, the beggar remained silent and speechless. I left without hearing or saying another word, but I knew I had touched him.

The same night, I was supposed to attend a party for a friend at a hotel. I couldn’t go because I had something else to do at the last minute (believe me, I was gutted), yet the incident this morning got me thinking about the event. The dinner was held inside a classy restaurant with a formal dress code, so you can pretty much guess the range of the menu prices. At a charge of around USD $25.00 to USD $40.00, imagine how many hungry, homeless mouths that money could be used to feed. Is anybody else thinking Gossip Girl? (In case you haven’t heard of/watched it, this is a show on the CW channel about a bunch of rich kids living on the Upper East Side of New York City. All they do is argue, make out with each other, and well, gossip.)

I won’t be the first to say it nor the first to admit it, but my generation is spoiled. Shamelessly spoiled. And it gets worse with every year. It makes me sad realizing not many people my age are aware they should not take everything for granted. The problem is that a lot of them get easily upset over the slightest, most trivial things. If you think about it, how often do you hear about our middle-class (and above) youth not complaining about how they don’t have the latest iPhone or computer? (I myself am guilty as charged.) How often do you hear them truly express their thankfulness for what they have?

Seldom, indeed. Is this why adolescent depression has been on the high rise these days?

Especially in today’s world of economic recession, it’s important we consider how much it costs to fulfill contentment. Increasing availability of advanced technology makes it harder for the younger generations to feel satisfied with their lives. I am just as materialistic as the next teenager when it comes to wanting this and that; in fact, I got a new MacBook Pro only a few days ago. But I am perfectly aware of how lucky I am, having shelter, a close family, a solid education, et cetera … (Basically, everything listed in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.) Not everyone has the same fortune. Even worse, a lot of those who do unfortunately remain unhappy because of the tiniest gaps in their desires.

Then again, it all comes down to your social and environmental influences. Peer pressure can affect you in all ways possible. For example, having grown up in suburban Richmond, B.C., I was very used to the modest Canadian lifestyle. I hung out with friends who were all sensible with money and barely spent much. Going over to each other’s place was our favorite activity and that required few expenses (perhaps for transportation only), if any at all. After moving to Hong Kong and attending a private school, however, I started thinking that perhaps some friendships are expensive to keep. Gone are the days of movie nights and sleepovers. Nowadays, whenever I meet up with someone, I have to prepare myself for coming home with an empty wallet by the time night rolls around.

I’ve really begun to see how money isn’t everything. I may have spent a whopping USD $30.00 at a (different) birthday dinner last week, but I was just as happy spending hardly anything this past Monday when I met up with an old friend from Richmond. One of the things we did was standing inside a HMV store and pointing out all the actors we liked (“I looove Robert Downey Jr.,” “ME TOO!”). Without buying anything at all, we managed to have quite a few laughs for a whole hour just doing that. Good times.

To be happy is to be grateful. I’m far from being rich like Blair Waldorf and the rest of the Gossip Girl gang, but I know perfectly well I have everything I need … plus a little extra! The old man mentioned at the start of this entry is most likely discontent with his impoverished life, yet I can tell from his thankful eyes that he was thrilled when I passed him the Starbucks. Happiness is up to you to define, and as MasterCard would say, true happiness: priceless.

(Readers, what is your definition of happiness? Do you agree that today’s youth should spend more time on being thankful? Why or why not?)

In Grade 3, I played street hockey (or something resembling the game) with someone, who proceeded to ignore me for no apparent reason in the following year despite having previously called me “the best friend in the whole wide world”. Sad, but true. Another beloved pal gone.

Like every other youth, I continue to encounter friendship issues as I approach adulthood. I have seemingly lost touch with many of my formerly good friends over the past few years without ever really knowing the real reason. Which makes me wonder: How on Earth did we come up with the “friends forever” concept in the first place anyway?

Call me cynical, but I’m beginning to realize perhaps it is impossible to have a single person you can confidently introduce as your best friend for life (or as we now coin it, “BFF”). Things just change for reasons unknown. I thought I had a BFF in someone several years ago when I started high school; in the end, I was left feeling very abandoned and alone.

You see, friendship is a fragile thing. No matter how close you are at a given moment to a particular individual (or more), this coherency won’t always be there. Priorities will change and suddenly, you will find yourself taking a rain check for a get-together because this person has a “really important meeting that can’t be missed”, meaning he’s due to meet his girlfriend or she is running late for a manicure appointment.

That being said, I am not this negative about society all the time. Sometimes, the closest friendships can have the most peculiar beginnings. Today, I am “best friends” with someone I used to frequently argue and physically fight with during our childhood, as well as someone I randomly met through a 30 Rock fan community. What can I say? Some things just aren’t that predictable.

Do you have any stories you wish to share about friendship? Comment and discuss.

About 95% of the people on the program are postgraduate students, meaning they range from about 21 years of age to 40. I am at least two years younger than everyone (in other words, I’m literally the baby of the bunch), so my first expectation upon arriving at the summer school venue was to meet dynamic individuals willing to mingle with anyone. My view was that given their age and experience, surely my fellow classmates should be mature, open and accepting. Wrong.

I found that although the majority are perfectly nice to talk to, they tend to stick to their own nationality groups. Having never been one to confine myself to just one party, I’ve befriended a whole range of people from all over the globe, yet quite a few I hang out with are part of Uncle Sam’s army (I’m the proud maple syrup-consuming, ice hockey-playing neighbor). I’ve come to realize that their everyday topics in conversation are strictly American, which makes it hard for anyone not living in the United States to join in the banter. Meanwhile, most of the Europeans keep to themselves, as do some Asians. (Note: the keywords are “most” and “some”. I don’t want to generalize.) The summer program’s organizers even arranged a “happy hour” session the other day in hopes of giving us the chance to break out of our usual groups and mix with others, but at the end of the day, everyone just clung to the same friends. Sounding familiar? Think high school.

It seems like cliques never go out of fashion regardless of age and generation. I don’t know the reason—nobody does. To discuss this with the appropriate literature would be to refer to the research done by social psychologists across the ages (see Tajfel and Sherif’s work) on inter-group hostility. Yet in a practical sense, we might want to ask ourselves why such things happen from a personal perspective. Are we just more comfortable talking to others alike? Or are there other external (or even internal) explanations?

Feel free to share your experiences in the comments.

For many people, summer started quite a while ago. I, on the other hand, just finished writing my summer exams this past Saturday. No, you didn’t read wrong—I had not one, but two Saturday exams over the course of my eight-day examination period. Perhaps I should feel grateful there were no Sunday exams?

I currently study in England, where students are usually tested only once, at the end of the academic year, on what they remember learning. Coming from a North American background, I am still not used to this unfamiliar system, two years into my three-year degree program. The difficulties of adapting to differences in education style, having to deal with multiple annoyances regarding noisy neighbors and all the stress from studying actually led to my doctor diagnosing me with an anxiety disorder just about a month ago. My mental health had definitely affected my performance over the exam period; I was unable to concentrate on studying and for a time, I was even going to just pack my bags and leave for home instead of sitting those exams. In the end, however, I pulled through. The reason: I couldn’t bear to just give up.

Yes, so I’ve been unhappy at college … but it’s giving me life experience nonetheless. I am gradually beginning to recognize that avoidance does not always work. No one should keep running away from problems encountered each time. You will run into issues no matter how old you are and if you think on the bright side, there is nothing to lose in tackling said issues.

Sure, I struggled a lot trying to just survive past all those exams I had last week, but I can now say I passed a challenge. Not giving up on something, no matter how tough things get, is an admirable trait, I’ve realized. It shows your inner strength and that, by far, is the most valuable thing one can possess.

They say you can only gain through pain. Take it from me; it’s all true.