Archives for General - Page 2


How Memorized Words Improve Your Life

I was always the kid who memorized things.

When I was younger, it was the poems of Robert Louis Stevenson that I cherished. I would spend many afternoons swinging and reciting The Swing.

More often than not I would have one poem or another running through my head as I played in the woods or the creek or climbed trees. Children's poems have a wonderful sense of rhythm and rhyme that made them easy to...
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Transform Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic.

Everyone has one.

Most people want to shut up, destroy, annihilate, or otherwise quiet that voice in their head that says things like, that was a stupid thing to say, or you look so fat today, you're dumb, you'll never get anywhere in life. I'm sure you can add your own.

Your inner critic is the voice that monitors your every act, word, and thought.

When it's out of control, your inner critic can rule your...
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When Your Teen is Being Bullied: 5 Things Parents Need to Know

No parent wants to find out that their child is being bullied. Yet this is a situation in which many parents find themselves, and it can be incredibly scary and confusing.

Teens are bullied over the same thing generation after generation: physical differences such as weight, acne and facial features, speech differences, mental abilities/disabilities.

Teens get bullied verbally, physically (tripping down the hall, book bumping), and through writing.

One significant difference that teens face now is the vast...
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The Importance of Connection, Part 1: How to Get and Stay Connected

When I first became a bird owner, I noticed that my cockatiel Sunshine would only eat when someone was near her.

Most birds are flock animals; they rely on the members of their community for companionship, safety, and parenting.

In the wild, Sunshine would only eat with her flock members there to watch out for her.

Like many other animals, humans have an inborn need for community that is crucial to not only our survival but also to our mental health and happiness.

Not everyone needs 40 friends, but everyone needs someone they can rely on to help them through the harshness of life.


For some people, it's depression. One of the key signs of depression is withdrawing from social situations. People who become depressed turn down invitations, fail to show up to gatherings, and limit phone calls and visits with friends.
Other times, it can be a change in life -- a move, divorce, death in the family, or illness. Many adults I've spoken to have said that when they graduated from high school or college they found they had a hard time making new friends in the 'adult' or working world.
Many people are so afraid of rejection that they stay away from getting close to others.
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Bad Relationship Advice: Our Top 10 List

There is a lot of relationship advice out there; friends, family, and coworkers are willing and eager to share their thoughts.

Over the years, I've heard and read some awful pieces of advice.

Here are the worst of them.

10. If you love her enough, you can get her to change.

ANY advice that has 'change' in it is bad news. You can't make anyone change, and if you expect them to you'll be met not only with resistance and frustration, but failure.

9. No one will ever love you as much as he does.

This is a phrase that is often used to keep an individual in an abusive relationship. Love comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. It might be true that no one will ever love you exactly like someone else,  you will be loved again. Don't allow this bad advice to keep you stuck in a harmful relationship.
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5 Easy Ways to Overcome Negative Thinking

This past weekend, I found myself 400 miles and 3 states away from home with $16 of cash, a half tank of gas, but no credit cards.

I pulled into a gas station and asked if they would take a check. Nope.

How about a credit card number phoned in from my husband? Nope.

My random gift cards were worthless here. I was worried.

I was desperate. I went back to my car where my young daughter sat and asked her if I could borrow the money in her coin purse. She had $2.38.

Digging through the crevices and corners of my car yielded another $1.03. I went inside and placed the pile of change in front of the cashier. The total amount was $19.41, a little less than 5 gallons of gas.

In my mind I was going through everything that had gone wrong. Why did I forget my credit card? Do hotels take checks from out of state? Do restaurants? What would I feed my daughter? Where would we sleep? How could I be so stupid???

I was going full force into negative thinking. I finally realized that my thoughts weren't doing me any good at all. In fact, they were harmful. With my mind full of what if's, there was no room or energy for realistic problem solving.

Once I slowed down I realized that my daughter wouldn't starve, I could find a way to get some cash back from a store, and that I was resourceful enough to deal with this situation.

I did some mental arithmetic and discovered that I could keep my miles per gallon quite high if I used cruise control and didn't rush. At 42 miles per gallon or more, I could possibly make it. And if I didn't, I would be close enough to have someone come and get us.

Negative thoughts often sneak up when people are stressed, anxious, or depressed. And once they take root, they can impede more helpful, critical, and logical thinking.

Here are 5 simple and easy ways to manage negative thoughts when they appear.
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Career & Job

Excuse or Explanation: Is There a Difference?

"It wasn't my fault!"
"She made me do it!"
"Everyone else was doing it!"
"I'm sorry, "
"He started it!"

Do these sound familiar?

For some people, these phrases may bring back memories of their childhood, or they may have heard these statements from their kids.

Despite sounding childish, everyone has said something similar in their adult life to a spouse, police officer, family member, or friend.

In counseling sessions, I frequently hear how people struggle with the difference...
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7 Things You Can Do NOW to Make Yourself Happier

Have you ever felt as if happiness is something that you have to wait to come to you?

Do you ever wonder why other people are happy, and you're not?

The good news is that being happy is more of a choice than you might think.

Happiness doesn't have to be an elusive idea that only some fortunate people are able to obtain. Here are seven simple things you can do to increase your happiness.
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Talking to Your Children About Mental Illness

If you're a parent with a mental illness, or if someone in your  family is mentally ill, you may struggle with how to talk about it with  your children. You may feel embarrassed or even ashamed about your disease.

Even thought it can be difficult, it's important to create a safe space for kids to hear and ask questions about the illness that affects you or your partner.

Here are five tips to help you get started.
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